Your Priority, you #24

…we look for a compliment or someone even greater to make us whole.

I started reading this book yesterday, Essays in love by Alain de botton and it unveils attributes that we human seek in others. It illustrated the fantasy and true meaning of love, debating lust, crave and love. The writer’s words spoke philosophy and reality and used a typical setting to tackle the confusion in love’s existence.

So far, I picked up a paragraph and thought deeply about it. It might not seem like words that would make sense to you, but it did to me. When we crave someone (don’t want to use the word love in this picture), we ignore every fault in them. When I say fault, I mean things that you don’t like, things outside the standards you posed your man/woman to be, distasteful characters that you don’t condole from other people. You become blinded by his/her sense of humour/ the way he /she talks to you or one special thing different about him/her. You ignore the essentials (commitment, understanding and what have you).

Eventually, you get bored of what you used to love. You try to change him/her to what you actually wanted (when its too late) from the start, little things lead to consistent and unresolved fights. You feel hurt and broken hearted and then it’s over. This doesn’t apply to everyone but most of these are what happen in many broken relationships.

..”we fall in love hoping we wont find in another what we know is in ourselves”. You want the story you tell your mates to be different from your personality/kind of person. You over exaggerate the beauty and characteristics in the other in hope you would get better. Placing he/she at the peak of your imaginations and how the person should be. You make expectations of how your other should treat you and get angry when things are out of place.

We forget that we are love and to love is just to love. Love without any expectations/ fantasies or hope or even judging the person. Just love. If you find someone you love and think that there is something that needs to be adjusted in the person to make he/she right and perfect for you, then why not move on ? why not let go for someone else who would love the person as a whole? why settle and cause pain and get your heart broken?

Every thing you see in someone else that makes you fall in love with them is also in you. Why ? because you are human. The only time you can call love real is when you love without spotting  flaws. Love and let yourself be loved.

I could write a whole note about love because that’s what keeps us. It is how we connect. Hope you had a lovely day, Do share your thoughts with us below. Thank you.


Dyna Ekwueme Copyright, 2015.


7 Comments Add yours

  1. coolestcharlie says:

    Ekwueme Nice Blog. I want to start one dont just know what it should be about. Any guidelines and advice.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ohmon says:

    This is so apt. It’s always baffled me how more than 80% of what people on the outside refer to as ‘perfect’ relationships are really just a bunch of couples who have learnt to settle, compromise and overlook a lot. Perhaps those are important attributes, perhaps not. Personally, I think :
    1. Those who, in the long run, will be our perfect match are those we have come to call “friend” or in more youthful vernacular – friendzoned. As such, crossing the line – if we ever muster the courage – is very difficult.
    2. We often place more premium on the things/people we want than those things/people that are right for us. This blinds and causes us so much pain when it comes to love ‘Cos the things that are right for us are those that – as you aptly put it – “come without expectations or fantasies” [paraphrased] . They are people we find ourselves at ease with, people we can talk and feel vulnerable with – in every sense of the world.

    Lovely post Dyna!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. ipeniwrite says:

    Starting a blog is pretty much easy, committing to it is another. Decide what you love writing about or rather what you can’t get bored of on the long run and go with it :)..Thanks for visiting mine

    Liked by 1 person

  4. ipeniwrite says:

    I think generally we humans are prone to liking what appears to be than what is. Friendship should be the foundation of every courtship/ relationship, it serves as a stronghold and memory lane when you have nothing to look back on. You said it right. Our decisions should be based on best fit rather than wants. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on here. I appreciate.


  5. kally says:

    This post is so beautiful and deep. I am so going to show it to my significant other to remind him (and of course, myself too 😉 )that love should have no expectations.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. ipeniwrite says:

    That’s so sweet of you..thank you Kally

    Liked by 1 person

  7. kally says:

    You’re most welcome. I look forward in reading more of your posts!


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