We were once reminded of what it felt like to live with more. To free all manner of ill-thoughts and live free, even when things that matter don’t feel like it does. Many voices wrote for the truth and many others against it. Characters exhibited their ignorance even when knowledge was crystal clear, limitless and valued. Patience was a tale and people that did have one were told off! It felt like the people’s voice weren’t heard in their heads no more, like they were more human with more sense of an unforgiving emptiness. I was lost in their thinking trap.
Selflessness is an attitude I admire in people but fail to adapt to. It’s what’s lacking in many personalities today including mine. You can gain someone’s trust, be loyal, respectful, enthusiastic, jolly at all times but it takes a different kind of you to always put others first, even when they aren’t thinking about you. I figured out that it is hard to lose any sort of connection with people like this, why? Because they are always there for you.
Let me tell you how I learned to forgive those that hurt me. I didn’t ignore them or block them or delete them or pretend that they didn’t exist. I talked to them, I befriended them again, I started anew but with me in my space, not theirs. I let it go only when they were willing to. The worst I did was let them live their lives without me and vice versa, it wasn’t a pain but a better way to feed my heart and soul.
Yes, I struggle to believe that people who claim to have some sort of terms and conditions in their lives live up to it. I find it hard to accommodate certain attributes that don’t feed me enough mentally. I guess that’s why people think that there is just more to me than me. Every art is special and when I mean art I mean you. You are a special kind of craft. One that people would travel from afar to come admire. You’re a craft so bliss and beautiful. Isn’t that enough for you to love yourself and reciprocate it to others?
The ignorance in us is the knowledge of beauty, love and ourselves. The pride is the unwillingness to be selfless and the truth is in self forgiveness and the forgiveness of others. Until we wake up to reality, we would still be dreaming for more, more love to give and more of ourselves that we should give when truly there’s no spare!.
Dyna Ekwueme copyright, 2015.