The Lie I told

The lie we all told.

” I just can’t wait to be independent, do whatever I want, whenever I want and have no one telling me how to do my own thing!”- some teenager

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How many of us said this when we were still teenagers?

How many teenagers do you hear mutter this to themselves when scolded?

I once thought 20 was adulthood. In fact, I once regarded anyone who was 20 as “old”. I’m 20 now but sometimes I really need a voice to direct me and also tell me what to do. I feel as though people expect much of me when my own self hasn’t even developed fully. My perspective then as a teen was more like two worlds that fail every single time to understand each other. The world of adulthood and mine. Sometimes, one succumbs for the other and other times, it results to war.

I grew up with four other siblings, an elder sister and 3 younger boys, so my teenage life was less dramatic, I think, as I was neither the first nor the last child. As a second born you aren’t really noticed as much as others. You fend for yourself most times, but the good thing is that you get away with a lot of wrongs even when you’re at fault, as you are sort of invisible.

I had less privileges and more restrictions which  I saw then as torture and still regard them so. This was as a result of my parents being more of disciplinarians than parents at that tender age. It made me confide in strangers, friends and my siblings more than I did with them. As at that time, I found it convenient and comfortable as it gradually became part of me but difficult now as I tend to filter what I say and how I say it to my parents. Disclosing personal issues and joy to them still is difficult for me but, I always find a way to express how I feel to them.

The other lie I told was that, “I would never miss being a teenager, it’s a mess being one”. We all again have flawed in this one. Even at 30 or 40, having a decent conversation with someone about your teenage life and how you lived it makes you feel somewhat young. It makes you vibrant and bloomy and puts others in a position to picture where you’ve been. That is why many crave to be young again and again. Not that ageing is not what we desire but, the feeling that seven years of our lives left in our souls, makes us hold unto it like some kind of home.

I never want to lie again about not being and feeling young inside.

What did you take away from today’s episode of TTTT dear blogger?

#TeenTransitionToTwenty writing Series

Dyna Ekwueme Copyright, 2016.


26 Comments Add yours

  1. The Oracle says:

    My Favorite Quote I Reach For When Facing This Issue At Any Age Is…
    Your Never As Young Or Old As You Are Right Now.
    I am glad I have a quote to get me out of the depression and loss of confidence this thought process can cultivate. Great Reminder TY!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. ipeniwrite says:

    If there is a “favourite” button on here, I’ll hit it for that quote too lovely. I’m more glad you made it here. Thank you for sharing your thoughts🌸

    Liked by 1 person

  3. charlypriest says:

    One word of advice, you are 20 so do whatever you want when you want and stop crying about it life is tough, I learned it at a quite younger age than you so get going. It may sound abroupt but as I was raised is better to give tough love, life is not easy I can tell you that. So get going, decide, every day every moment you have the power to decide over the situation that is in front of you.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. ipeniwrite says:

    That’s not going to be a challenge at all Charly as it is me who is involved😄. Thank you for your bold advice🌸..I look forward to more

    Liked by 1 person

  5. brianbalke says:

    I think that it’s great that you continue to allow older people to bask in the sunshine of your youth.

    When they became teens, I told my sons: “Well, at some point you have stop thinking of me as a father and decide whether you want me to be your friend.”

    Not that I changed my policies.

    As for this arbitrary idea of “adult”, it bugged me enough that I came up with this: an adult is someone who understands love and power and has the experience to know when to exercise them. That’s obviously difficult to measure, and an adult in a feudal society may seem like a child in a republic, but it kind of gave me a sense of direction. It was paired with a definition of “maturity”: the capacity to balance our well-being against that of others, and possession of the strength to act on that determination.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. ipeniwrite says:

    It’s how it’s meant to be, allowing the elderly help retrace our steps but, as a teen I never saw it that way, I guess. I know better now. You must get along with your sons so well as this advice you gave them would not only nurture but it would prepare them for any challenge whatsoever. As for balance, that is what I try to recreate for myself everyday. Thank you for reiterating what I needed to know. Your thoughts are beautiful🌸

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Aaliyahm says:

    I’m 15 right now and trying to enjoy it. It’s hard but I know I have the freedom of not having a job so I can do my favorite thing, which is be lazy. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  8. The Oracle says:

    Thank You For Posting!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. ipeniwrite says: should live it good dear. Thank you for visiting my page🌸

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Amber says:

    I remember thinking that I couldn’t wait to be an adult. That I would not be able to look at my teen years as anything other than painful and traumatic. That I would live on my own as soon as possible and never look back. Now, I look back with so many happy memories (along with the painful ones) and am grateful for that time in my life. And I miss home. It’s hard to imagine for me even now, but in time I’ll look back to this very year in my life, 24, and remember the good times of fewer responsibilities compared to what I expect to manage in ten or twenty years.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Aaliyahm says:

    I’ll be back for sure 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  12. ipeniwrite says:

    That’s so sweet…you cannot run from what’s made you, I figured. You can only choose to live with it, live for it or live without it. Any of those options would still leave a trade mark of those years. I’m glad you do look back on those times and even more glad you made it here. Thank you dear🌸

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Fijay says:

    Another truly thoughtful post …..Hmmmm well …as a Mother to a teen …it IS proving to be a bit of a roller coaster ride:D:D:D…’s that part way between adult and child …and as a parent it’s knowing when to cut the slack and when to reel it in …not easy …PLUS you can see some of the risks your child might be exposing themselves to …..yet all you get back is …’Chill Mum it’s cool’ …..I guess from a parents point of view you just hope that you’ve done sufficient groundwork beforehand …YEP young people need to spread their wings and find their way ….doesn’t stop you worrying though:)

    Liked by 1 person

  14. ipeniwrite says:

    Yeaa..I bet it’s a beautiful feeling being a mother…In the end we get to embrace those advice and cautions given when experiences can’t teach us anymore…Even with that, mothers especially still worry if they’ve taught their teens enough. I celebrate you all🌸 and of course fathers too. Thank you dear for your thoughts💙


  15. Fijay says:

    Awww bless you young lady ….your parents can be proud of you for sure:)

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Rareity says:

    Nostalgia. I mean wow I can’t tell you how often I’ve wanted to go back to my team year… maybe did some wrongs, erase regrets , change actions. I remember telling myself I can’t wait to be an adult the same lie you talk about. It’s a meaningful post

    Liked by 1 person

  17. ipeniwrite says:

    I’m happy you can relate to this post. I’m pretty sure you’re an amazing person as those wrongs, actions and regrets you went through as a teenager must have shaped you. Thank you dear for commenting🌸

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Rareity says:

    They did. As they do everyone. That’s the beauty of it… The people they make us.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. ipeniwrite says:

    Yeees! That’s what makes you rare 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Rareity says:

    Indeed 😉 glad to meet you.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. erelife says:

    I see where you’re coming from.
    No comments on that.

    Liked by 1 person

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