Denial

How many consequences did you have to bear growing up as a teenager?

Processed with VSCOcam with f2 preset

We all lived separate lives growing up, even with our intuitions. We all left home at some point and returned to still find home. We bonded with nature more often than we did with material possessions as we didn’t quite have much competition then. Loneliness could sometimes pay us a visit and we still wouldn’t miss it’s absence when it’s gone as we were more than carefree. One of the main reasons we broke a little and fell short of our beautiful pride was wanting to ‘belong’. As there were many things to try, many people to look up to, attitudes and experiences to pick up from, we pried into each others’ affairs  to gain a place.

At thirteen, I wouldn’t give you a piece of my meal in school if you wouldn’t let me be part of what you are planning with others. It was more like a bargain to me then. You wouldn’t extract from me what I know without getting me involved with what you’re doing with the information. At some point, I became repellent to people and was tagged “stingy”.

Gradually, I started choosing who I kept around and who I ran off to. It did help but it made me repel people, as the more I got comfortable with  a group, the more I bonded with them and the less I wanted people involved with us. “snub” became the new name. This one lasted for eternity. Yes! I say that, because people who knew me then still think of me that way. As a matter of fact, I accepted it with pride.

I denied myself the luxury of fighting back. I denied every part of me that was anti-snub, perhaps just not to feel bothered about it. It did bother me but not until my mates were also tagged as one, then I felt it was just people’s problems and not mine nor my friends.

Most teenagers deny a part of them just to go with it. It may not be people calling them ‘stingy’ or ‘snub’, it may be ‘bullying’, ‘stalking’, gossiping’or what have you. Whatever the case may be, most teenagers just tend to go with it than let it out.

Parents especially, notice behavioural changes in their teens and react differently to different situations they find them in. The only bitter advice most get, is to “fight back” which isn’t easy at that stage and that is why most teenagers tend to withdraw and lose connection with their parents.

Every teenager I believe have the strength to conquer any form of denial but it takes ‘two to tango’ doesn’t it?  It takes help, comfort and understanding to aid them get through.

What have you learnt about teens from today’s TTTT episode?

#TeenTransitionToTwentyWritingSeries

Dyna Ekwueme Copyright, 2016.

Advertisements

7 Comments Add yours

  1. noblethemes says:

    Wow, this brings back memories! I wasn’t part of any “in-group,” but I wasn’t exactly “out” either. I was basically a loner, but strangely enough I got along with just about everyone. I think I can even say that most people liked me in a kind of shallow, social sense; at least I was (mostly) never harassed or bullied. The one time I remember almost being bullied someone I didn’t even know took up for me! Well . . . now I’m rambling, so I’ll stop! Good article! And thanks for sending me down memory lane, (although I don’t think I’d ever want to repeat my teen years! LOL) Blessings! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. ipeniwrite says:

    I can picture the kind of girl you were in my head. I always felt comfortable around those kinds back then…aww really?..Thank you dear🌸..I’m happy I took you back there. If it’s memorable then it’s a good thing..just not a good thing to repeat twice I guess😄. Thank you again

    Liked by 1 person

  3. http://myrapawleys@wordpress.com says:

    I really like this subject…! Memories for me as well-a thousand years ago: At thirteen I could not really fit in anywhere. I was an adult child and did not know how to be my age. I proceeded to learn-from several different groups, some good some not so good. I could change like a chameleon, be anyone anybody wanted me to be. Ugh! I guess I found out who I was at age 50.
    Thank you for this post! Really made me put this into concrete words. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. ipeniwrite says:

    Aww bless you..I bet at some point I became that way too, not knowing where to fit in and all..I still struggle with it now but only now I seem to have a plan for every direction I find myself in. That is a long time to find one’s self. The beautiful thing is that you did find yourself🌸. Thank you for your vulnerability on here. I appreciate it.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. http://myrapawleys@wordpress.com says:

    Finding your direction as you go is the exact way to find yourself. You will know in your knower when you meet the person God made you to be. It is marvelous in His eyes and will be in yours! Many Blessings!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. ipeniwrite says:

    I believe so..thank you again. God bless🌸

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s