Diary of a confused teen

Every single word I never let out, I wrote down in my big book.

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I had tons of books, not necessarily diaries but different sizes and colours of note books. In one I wrote songs, in another I wrote about my daily encounters. I even had a book where my friends got to write about themselves and leave sensitive details I’ll always remember them for. Every teenager I knew, had these sort of books. It was more like our whats-app, Facebook and twitter back then and the beautiful thing was that, everyone cherished theirs.

Something about penning something down as a teenager gave me some sort of relieve and I grew to cherish fancy note books. I would write about things I wished I did, I would write about boys, the ones I had crushes on and the ones that openly displayed their affections. Mostly, I wrote about my family and friends and how they made me feel each passing day.

I wrote in diaries for three years, from the beginning of my senior secondary up until the end . Nothing more gave me joy than writing out how I felt. My presumed diaries were my second Bible.ย I remember writing about living in boarding school back home, how caged and restricted it made feel, how powerless most people were outside the school gate and how I couldn’t wait to become an adult and live without people having to discipline me. It’s now me who disciplines myself and when anything goes out of the way, I’m still the one who’s left to be called.

Different teenagers keep different forms of diaries. Hypothetically, most teens can make their phones, friends or even a mere place their diary , as long as they are free to express whatever form of emotion they are feeling.These diaries are where confusions are lit, it is a different kind of vibe with what we say out there to people. It is a sanctuary we hate people to invade.

I still got six of my diaries and I only laugh, cry and smile when I go through them. Haven’t kept one for the past three years and I feel some how this blog has become one, not quite but something close to one. My big book was my diary and I wrote for myself and my emotions.

Did you ever get to keep a diary as a teenager? or are you a teen keeping one? Do share your diary experiences with me ๐Ÿ™‚ Thank you.

#TeenTransitionToTwentyWritingSeries

Dyna Ekwueme Copyright, 2016.

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32 Comments Add yours

  1. Anonymous says:

    I’m not a teenager but I use to write diary. Poetry, my feelings, frustration, everything. It is relaxing, when there is no one to talk, our diary listens ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  2. ipeniwrite says:

    I can so relate with you dear. Thank you for your thoughts๐ŸŒธ

    Like

  3. Sean Sweeney says:

    I used to fill books with stories and poetry as a teenager. A good few were those Pukka pads like the one in the picture.

    My notepads are just full of lists now. Everything else goes into a Word document.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Qiana Devani says:

    I started keeping a journal after my brother passed away when I was 6 but I never really did much with it it started as a way to cope. Then I got into poetry and through middle school that’s what I used to relieve my stress. I really started keeping journals of different sizes, cover art, etc. Throughout high school it was mostly me writing about being an outcast in a high school I never wanted to go to then my junior year it turned into me chronicling my journey into my senior year and my future endeavors. In college i started to write about my plans for the next 4 years of my life away from home and what I intended to do after graduation. I don’t write nearly as often anymore but every now and again I will update my journal with noteworthy moments just to keep myself grounded so I can have a place where my accomplishments will remind me that it’s okay that I’m not where I think I should be as long as I keep moving and working towards it, I will get there when I am ready and that until then I am exactly where I’m supposed to be

    Liked by 1 person

  5. ipeniwrite says:

    Oh that’s lovely to know dear. At least you haven’t stopped writing ๐Ÿ™‚ . Thank you for commenting ๐ŸŒธ

    Like

  6. ipeniwrite says:

    Aww sorry for your loss. The latter feels so much like me, like we literally did the same thing…If something kept you writing for that long, then I suppose it’s part of you now. It’s amazing to know that people still keep track of themselves in a paper and follow through. I’m more than glad Qiana for the time you spent sharing your diary experience with me on here. Thank you๐ŸŒธ

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Aaliyahm says:

    When I was little, I’d say 5-12, I had notebooks in the same way you did! I still get them out and read them sometimes. I’ve tried to keep a diary since I started high school, only to find I write in it for three days and put it up for 8 months until I do the same. I could say my blog serves the purpose of a public diary, though ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  8. ipeniwrite says:

    Awww that’s a cute story..I bet you keep up with your blog than you did with your diary๐Ÿ˜„. Thank you for visiting dear๐ŸŒธ

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Aaliyahm says:

    Yes I do! And you’re welcome โ˜บ๏ธ

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I did this exact thing! I was obsessed with notebooks and went in search of the prettiest ones, and the ones that inspired me most, excited to fill each and every one! I think it was around 3 years that I spent documenting everything too. In the middle of that I struggled with depression and so some entries would be full of anger and confusion and written at 5 in the morning.Looking back it’s crazy to see the stark contrast of some weeks and days. One day I would be writing about the small details of beauty in the world – noticing the flowers and the comfort I took in being in the forest. Then others it would be entries about my confusion as to why I had to deal with the things life through at me and how angry I was about it. Looking back it makes me realise how much I let my feelings affect everything when I was a teenager. Whatever I felt became who I was for that section of time. I think that’s a wonderful thing that teenagers have the ability to do. They can see their own feelings and become completely in touch with them, completely allowing them to sit and be. Whereas more recently I’ve learnt to push away feelings that aren’t helpful to situations and how I want to portray myself. This is also a skill, but it’s nice to look back and recognise how many feelings I did have. I may have struggled through life those few years, but at least I was full of passion! Anyway – my love for notebooks hasn’t gone away! I have a shelf full of pretty ones waiting to be used.

    Liked by 2 people

  11. ipeniwrite says:

    You weren’t alone dear. Not many people find solace in notebooks, but you did even with battling depression. Poor you then๐Ÿ˜Ÿ. Your teenage years may be sad and not full of the passion you have learnt to embrace now but at least it gave you a success story. You know yourself now more than then. You’re aware of ‘what is’ and ‘what isn’t’ and that I think is part of us transitioning to adulthood. I’m glad we can both relate to notebooks, that’s what we have in common ๐Ÿ˜„ and of course penning down our emotions. I appreciate your vulnerability on this post and you’re welcome to this blog anytime. Thank you๐ŸŒธ

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Mirrah says:

    Goodness!! Theres so much i can relate to in this post. Im in boarding school too
    And basically, i am a confused teen who writes my life away diary entry after dairy entry

    Liked by 1 person

  13. ipeniwrite says:

    Aww..I’m glad you get to feel like you belong to a group reading this post. Wishing you all the best in school ๐ŸŒธ. Thank you for making it hereโ˜บ๏ธ

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Mirrah says:

    Thank you ๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’›

    Liked by 1 person

  15. I had couple of diaries, I wasn’t a doing it regularly thought. i had a thing for new stationary, all of those diaries were half filled.
    In my twenties now, I use a journaling app, I journal to get my head straight, if I am in the dumps. Not regularly or anything.

    what about you, post teen, how is it going??

    Liked by 1 person

  16. ipeniwrite says:

    You wrote at least even if it was half filled๐Ÿ˜„..haven’t heard of such, sounds convenient tho, journaling app. Oh well, I don’t keep diaries now anymore, I tend to be more open with people than bury my thoughts in a book. I guess it’s different for people, but for me I let it all out and keep my secrets inside๐ŸŒธ.. Thank you for sharing your experiences here and being thoughtful as well. I appreciate

    Like

  17. I’m 23 now and I still keep a journal. Why have you not picked up that hobby again? I write my frustrations and emotions down in it. I remember someone telling me that feelings are temporary but actions are forever, and that’s why I write down my feelings and emotions. That way I don’t act on them right away and end up making a bad decision.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. ipeniwrite says:

    Aww..I guess that has become your escape root, writing in a journal. I still have a thing or two for fancy note books but I think I’ve outgrown writing how I feel in them. I get some sort of relieve nowadays by letting people know exactly how I feel and avoiding things that would put in the mood of grabbing a book and Penning my emotions down. I guess it’s my own kind of adulthood ๐Ÿ˜„

    Liked by 1 person

  19. eddiehdz171 says:

    I never kept a diary but I honestly wish I did. There are details about my teenage years that I wish I would’ve wrote down to remember them more vividly. At the same time there are some things I have left in the past that I’m glad I don’t remember so there are some good things about not keeping the diary.

    Liked by 2 people

  20. ipeniwrite says:

    You’re right..every good thing has got a bad side so is a diary ๐ŸŒธ. Thank you for your time.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. I used to keep a diary, until my mum read it! (She gives me no privacy) so now I’m stuck with this site as my diary.

    Liked by 1 person

  22. I never really kept a diary but since turning 18 two years back I have started leaving pieces of myself on paper sheets and lol tisdue paper sometimes.Now,i diarise(does this word exist?) on my blog not necessarily to keep up but to externalise pain,I see everything as art material.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Private diary, Diaro, momento, these are easy to use journaling app.

    Liked by 1 person

  24. ipeniwrite says:

    Awww all the best with your site dear. Thank you for being here๐ŸŒธ

    Liked by 1 person

  25. ipeniwrite says:

    Tissue paper ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚? Where do you store them?๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚..it feels good writing for your emotions than for people, it makes reflection easier. Thank you for sharing your diary experience with me๐ŸŒธ

    Like

  26. ipeniwrite says:

    Thank you very much dear, would check them out๐ŸŒธ

    Like

  27. Ehm..i transfer them or keep them between book pages and when someone finds them…

    Liked by 1 person

  28. ipeniwrite says:

    Oh seen๐Ÿ˜„

    Liked by 1 person

  29. Oge.O says:

    I kept a diary thou I wasn’t faithful to it ๐Ÿ™ˆ
    I had one book I wrote every song I heard during the summer of 2010
    Then I had a Creative Journal
    Now I just have a couple of hardcovers, nothing in some but I just want them

    Liked by 1 person

  30. ipeniwrite says:

    Awww maybe someday you’d never run out of words to fill in those hardcovers ๐ŸŒธ

    Liked by 1 person

  31. Oge.O says:

    Hopefully.
    Thank you ๐Ÿ’™

    Liked by 1 person

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