Teen Transition To Twenty-one

Maturity is an attitude, it doesn’t always come with age like people emphasize.

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What is it about age that makes you feel like you’re an adult or a teen?

How does it feel to be twenty +?

In less than four months, I’ll be 21 and I’m still stuck, reminiscing about my teenage life at 20. It’s almost like clicking the refresh button on your PC, that’s how it all feels like to me. For the past six days, I’ve been writing about my teen transition to twenty, how everything and everyone from my teenage years affected me positively and negatively. I walked you through challenges most teenagers face during this age and how different we all are when it comes to facing these challenges. Today, I have one more year to give you, one more age you didn’t quite know deeply, 20.

At 20, ‘I thought I had arrived’ (funny slang/proverb typically used by Nigerians), meaning that I thought I had it all together. I felt like I was ready for anything and any situation. Even though I was responsible and more aware of things, I still ended up with choices that are unheard of. “I’ve been following the rules, doing as I told, letting others speak for me in instances where my voice is needed, 20 is the age where I get to reverse the chain. “, I said to myself. To be honest, this was the worst advice I took from myself. One word I could use to describe my life at 20 is “chaotic” but against all odds, I strive for three things that sort of brings me peace, “forgiving, letting go and moving on”.

I made poor decisions in selecting what’s right to spend time on, how I prioritize my education, the kind of friends I trust and even the sort of food I eat. It might sound funny but yes food! I remember the last week of October last year, having to feed on rich tea biscuit, noodles and water, not that food wasn’t available but that.. I really did not have a clue what was wrong with me. Sometimes, loneliness gets to me at its peak, something that never used to happen, maybe because I haven’t been home in years or maybe it was some sort of way to keep away from the chaos I was involved in, I thought. I just found it hard to feel alive in certain places I went. It was all grubby until the end of last year.

I’m not a fan of making resolutions but I promised myself to leave every debris that contaminated “me” in 2015. I embraced this year without looking back or getting involved with what would put me into questioning my own self. I separated from a lot of things and engaged in new ones, more like disconnecting to connect to something better. It was a strenuous walk trying to regain balance again, but it’s been worth it so far  and I’m never looking back again. I choose to inspire, motivate, learn, make certain mistakes and learn again but, going back to reopen closed wounds is what I’m never falling back on.

I have until July to better my 20 and I wouldn’t want to miss the chance of celebrating 21 with much joy. It’s not like I feel any much different from being a teenager. The only change that happened to me as an adult is being more accepting of being wrong and the willingness to change/evolve. I’d like to know what 21 feels like anyway.

What are your thoughts on being 20 and transiting to 21? Are you eager to become an adult? What best advice would a 21 year old and above give? Do share your beautiful minds dear bloggers 🙂 . Thank you.


Have you been following this writing series? Do you think you’ve missed out on the important bits? Don’t panic 🙂 the link to all 6 of them is just below. Click on the link and leave your thoughts on the post/posts you enjoy. Thank you. 

Day 1– The lie I told

Day 2– The seven personalities of one self

Day 3– Denial

Day 4– For every wasted pain

Day 5Diary of a confused teen

Day 6– Self love: Selfish



Dyna Ekwueme Copyright, 2016


37 Comments Add yours

  1. If I were to give you any advice at all…enjoy being young. Make a bucket list of all of the things that you might be remotely interested in trying. Do these things while you have the energy and time before other things tie you down. Try to make the best decisions that you can. Let go of the past. Don’t worry you will have a lot of time to reflect on your life later. Let your experiences shape you into who you want to be. We can even learn and grow from mistakes or bad things that are beyond our control. I also will be 21 in July (multiplied by 2). Gulp!! Sounds like you have things together…

    Liked by 3 people

  2. ipeniwrite says:

    Aww..always craved to make a bucket list. Would consider making one with this☺️. I can’t wait for this latter reflections…happy birthday in advance then🎉😄 and thank you for the sound advice🌸

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I dont fit your criteria for giving advjice cos’ i’m 20 myself.I can relate to the “letting go” and “food part”.
    Its interesting I have become mindful of food and finally settled on a particular dish-BBM(Bread,beans and milk).I have become of more mindful and my insights have deepened on things.
    So you need advice?Explore both sides of life-the idealism and realism.part of it and refuse to be like me that’s an extreme idealist.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. unjellanera says:

    For me being 20-21 is still a process, I guess age is just really a number. People mature based on their experiences. And always remember: experience has been always the best teacher 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. unjellanera says:

    Oh, I’m 25 already. But I still feel like 21 hahaha

    Liked by 1 person

  6. ipeniwrite says:

    😂😂😂 bread, beans and milk! What a combination lool. I think 20 generally makes people so, mindful and having insights I mean. Thank you for the advice 😄, would be sure to explore both sides of life. I appreciate your thoughts on here🌸


  7. ipeniwrite says:

    Yes! I totally agree. I’d take away living from experience in your words 🙂 . Thank you for sharing 🌸

    Liked by 1 person

  8. ipeniwrite says:

    Lool good good feeling it is🌸

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Ricky Pearl says:

    Ange never been factor of Maturity! Some people in their 30 feel like teens and some teens in their 20 feels like adult. Its depends how you take yourself and the things around you.

    Liked by 3 people

  10. ipeniwrite says:

    I believe so. Thank you for your thoughts🌸

    Liked by 1 person

  11. unjellanera says:

    This is so good to hear 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  12. tamalatalks says:

    i am 20 but feel like ive been through the experiences of a 21 one year old and above it seems most 21 year olds ive seen havent had it as heavy as me so experience wise i can say im 21 lool

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Fijay says:

    Do you know? ….I’ve stopped counting how old I am …think I stopped at 30 and that’s as much as I’m saying on MY age:D:D:D ….but have thoroughly enjoyed reading this particular series …I have a 16 year old son and we had been coming to loggerheads over a few things …it’s made me stop and think a little …remember how confusing it is at such an age …and I shared the ‘befriending the 7 Devils within’ with him …we BOTH liked that one and laughed …and have agreed to try to befriend any Devils that might appear in EITHER of us …so thanks Dyna …ALWAYS enjoy your writing:)

    Liked by 1 person

  14. raech says:

    I think 20 is such a great age, I remember making huge decisions at 20. I loved college in the midwest but I longed for something more, more adventure. I took a chance on loving myself and trusting myself and whatever force wraps itself around us at times.

    The advice I would give you is just to explore, have fun, and listen to how you want to do things. I ended up dropping out of college and I always knew I would go back but everyone doubted me. I took a year and a half to live somewhere tropical, travel and discover what school I wanted to finish at…it led me to California. I packed my things in three suitcases got on a plane and moved there without knowing a soul and having no clue if I could actually survive financially.

    I don’t mean to give my life story, just now that I am almost 30 I see how truly niave and brave I was and how wonderful it was for me at the time. I feel really passionate about encouraging the younger age group. For me the adventure was leaving and rebuilding and rebuilding, for some the adventure is staying or hoping around.I have moved across the country like four times.

    A huge thing I have learned is never say never, leave some wiggle room. I hit my lowest point ever, so far, and hopefully not again, at 25. I could not have seen it coming. I guess no matter what you do try to realize life is so full of the unpredictable have grace with yourself, create time to have fun, build a support system that will be there for life and death, celebrations and failures, and when you look back and wish you’d done something differently, realize you most likely gave it your best shot with what you knew at the time.

    Good luck 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  15. ipeniwrite says:

    Keep pushing dear🌸. More like an old soul with a young mind. Thank you for sharing Tamala🌸

    Liked by 1 person

  16. ipeniwrite says:

    I bet at some point age wouldn’t matter to me like it has to you. I’m so glad you did enjoy this series😄…awww you sound so much like a loving and fun mum🌸 to have done that with your son. 😂 I bet he could relate to some characters of mine. Do send my regards and appreciation to him too🌸 for having the patience to sit with you and loggerheads over the series. Thank you so much Fijay 🙂 . You just made me smile this morning🌸

    Liked by 1 person

  17. ipeniwrite says:

    Yea, I think 20 is a huge one too. Oh wow! That’s some courage😄 you had moving at that age. I believe this is one of the best advice I’ve gotten so far as it’s coming from someone who has lived through these experiences shared. Thank you so much raech🌸. I’ll keep this in mind whilst exploring me


  18. Inchcock says:

    Be weary my flower. For I can remember at 70 what I went through at 20, but cannot remember what day it is sometimes. Hehe! Take care.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Xeno says:

    i’m 28 going on 81, lol.

    age ain’t nothing but a number, really. it’s not about the years in your life, but the life in your years! 😀 cliched as it sounds, it’s a nice reminder that artificial deadlines of ‘i’ll do this when I’m XX years old’ may not be ideal to follow. I’ve been hard pressed by my parents and immediate relatives to be some sort of hard working businessman type bloke who makes a lot of $$ by this age, but that sort of thinking would lead me to the land of premature heart attacks. I’ve had to learn much about myself, and now I feel like I can handle the dynamics of living better than I used to. Really feels like I’m like the seventeen of my dreams, hopefully to mature into a well adjusted “adult” (lol) individual who can stand on my own two feet on this Earth that gave birth to us.

    *cyberhugs* to you, and to Mother Earth! (and Father Sky too :P)

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Xeno says:

    er, you might need a US proxy to access the video, idk

    Liked by 1 person

  21. ipeniwrite says:

    Aww beautiful🌸 thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

  22. ipeniwrite says:

    It’s a cliche most of us live by😄, including me..the experience of letting yourself teach you is more valued than that which are said easily by others.Thank you for sharing your experience with me, one can pick up a few advices from you🌸 . Thank you for being here too

    Liked by 1 person

  23. ipeniwrite says:

    It says the address is invalid😟

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Xeno says:

    just type into any search engine, aaliyah – age ain’t nothing but a number 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  25. ipeniwrite says:

    Alright.. Thank you🌸

    Liked by 1 person

  26. ipeniwrite says:

    So sedative🎵..some song I needed to listen to tonight..thank you Xeno🌸


  27. candidkay says:

    Don’t be too hard on yourself and find the joy even in the pruning.

    Liked by 1 person

  28. ipeniwrite says:

    Thank you dear🌸


  29. Azza says:

    I must salute you for this! Please keep going, and keep sharing! It takes ages to arrive @ these for some (me included), and your courage is an inspiration to say the least! Thank u!

    Liked by 1 person

  30. ipeniwrite says:

    Aww thank you so much for your beautiful words. I appreciate your time🌸


  31. andreaclaire says:

    This was such a relevant post to me, although I’m only 18 I felt really connected with your thoughts. Thanks for being eloquent.

    Liked by 1 person

  32. ipeniwrite says:

    I’m glad you did dear..thank you for your time 🌸


  33. The number one thing I’ve learned as I grow older, nearly 35 now, is that I was NOT an adult at 21… not even close heh. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  34. ipeniwrite says:

    Really?? Hehe I pretty much should be thinking like that 😁..thank you for sharing 🌸

    Liked by 1 person

  35. No worries! Enjoy being young! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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