Maturity is an attitude, it doesn’t always come with age like people emphasize.
What is it about age that makes you feel like you’re an adult or a teen?
How does it feel to be twenty +?
In less than four months, I’ll be 21 and I’m still stuck, reminiscing about my teenage life at 20. It’s almost like clicking the refresh button on your PC, that’s how it all feels like to me. For the past six days, I’ve been writing about my teen transition to twenty, how everything and everyone from my teenage years affected me positively and negatively. I walked you through challenges most teenagers face during this age and how different we all are when it comes to facing these challenges. Today, I have one more year to give you, one more age you didn’t quite know deeply, 20.
At 20, ‘I thought I had arrived’ (funny slang/proverb typically used by Nigerians), meaning that I thought I had it all together. I felt like I was ready for anything and any situation. Even though I was responsible and more aware of things, I still ended up with choices that are unheard of. “I’ve been following the rules, doing as I told, letting others speak for me in instances where my voice is needed, 20 is the age where I get to reverse the chain. “, I said to myself. To be honest, this was the worst advice I took from myself. One word I could use to describe my life at 20 is “chaotic” but against all odds, I strive for three things that sort of brings me peace, “forgiving, letting go and moving on”.
I made poor decisions in selecting what’s right to spend time on, how I prioritize my education, the kind of friends I trust and even the sort of food I eat. It might sound funny but yes food! I remember the last week of October last year, having to feed on rich tea biscuit, noodles and water, not that food wasn’t available but that.. I really did not have a clue what was wrong with me. Sometimes, loneliness gets to me at its peak, something that never used to happen, maybe because I haven’t been home in years or maybe it was some sort of way to keep away from the chaos I was involved in, I thought. I just found it hard to feel alive in certain places I went. It was all grubby until the end of last year.
I’m not a fan of making resolutions but I promised myself to leave every debris that contaminated “me” in 2015. I embraced this year without looking back or getting involved with what would put me into questioning my own self. I separated from a lot of things and engaged in new ones, more like disconnecting to connect to something better. It was a strenuous walk trying to regain balance again, but it’s been worth it so far and I’m never looking back again. I choose to inspire, motivate, learn, make certain mistakes and learn again but, going back to reopen closed wounds is what I’m never falling back on.
I have until July to better my 20 and I wouldn’t want to miss the chance of celebrating 21 with much joy. It’s not like I feel any much different from being a teenager. The only change that happened to me as an adult is being more accepting of being wrong and the willingness to change/evolve. I’d like to know what 21 feels like anyway.
What are your thoughts on being 20 and transiting to 21? Are you eager to become an adult? What best advice would a 21 year old and above give? Do share your beautiful minds dear bloggers 🙂 . Thank you.
Have you been following this writing series? Do you think you’ve missed out on the important bits? Don’t panic 🙂 the link to all 6 of them is just below. Click on the link and leave your thoughts on the post/posts you enjoy. Thank you.
Day 1– The lie I told
Day 3– Denial
Day 4– For every wasted pain
Day 5–Diary of a confused teen
Day 6– Self love: Selfish
Dyna Ekwueme Copyright, 2016