Quietness brings your head and heart to one place. It allows you listen to the noise in your head, replaying memories you’ve chosen to leave behind. It’s not a form of self-worship, it is a state for atonement and gathering.
Every detail in life matters, no matter how little. Call it luck, chances, mistakes or life, the nature of things that carved you to become the now you all pins down to details. The way you talk, respond, love, cry, teach, preach and go about every other thing. It’s never a coincidence when you look back. Everything you choose to do has a way of being interpreted in your own understanding by time, passing time to be specific. The warmth or horror can only first be understood by you before you tell it to others. This is why I believe our every predicament shouldn’t be blamed on forces or others, they could be a “causation” factor but us, ourselves, I should be held accountable always for what’s happening/happened regardless.
In mourning, you are allowed to revisit. You are free to blame yourself and beat yourself up for what’s gone. You are allowed a space, your space, to think, absorb and let go. Most importantly you are allowed to bury your sins in self-forgiveness, self-acceptance and in wholeness. Wear your scars like defeat. The victory of where you’ve been will hold you above your wounds and muddy grounds. If you’re sobbing in an empty room, sob loudly so that the echo of your cry will remind you how important you are for tomorrow. How it matters to mourn the souls, the lovers, the friends, the things, the jobs, the shame, the unglorified victories, the walks and the talks of your past. Prayers don’t change a thing if you haven’t learned to accept and let go, you’ll be stuck asking God to do what he’s willed you to do already.
This is why it is important to mourn your past in solitude-
You get to burn the deafening pretences wrapped nicely in flowers you once craved to inhale. You get to kiss yourself everyday without feeling withdrawn or guilty. You get to teach others to love you and appreciate what you’re worth. You set yourself free from being haunted by your past.
Learn to mourn the souls of your past.
Picture used gotten from- Flickr
Dyna Ekwueme Copyright, 2017.