We will all grow to a point where we learn not to lie against ourselves, where we will all outgrow our humble beginnings. We will reach a point of satiety in our lives one way or the other, where we fear less about what we used to hesitate to question. Growing out of reach and building with both whole and broken pieces.
As we grow (not age), the descendants of unclarity begin to die out. Purpose becomes priority and questions you find yourself often asking begin to get answered by your motives, time input and resources available to you. Sometimes the cost will be tied to falling out with certain herds, sometimes the cost may fall to alone times you spend reflecting and sometimes it may even cost you losing yourself in the process. How you make your journey and the most you make out of it depends on your plans, ties and decisions. Being tenacious may become somewhat necessary in times openness is as well. The thirst for pride, ego and attention will kick in every now and then. You trust less, you create more and you begin to despise healthy criticism, which is all human nature.
However, curbing and managing attributes that are distasteful to your growing process allows for maximum control of your potential. It puts you in a place where you regard everyone as equal, a place where you can welcome respect as you give it.
You are in charge of your life. You are the key to every problem you are facing even if those problems are triggered and caused by people. The moment you realize how important you are to your own journey, the more time you invest in your growth allowing others identify with and fall into your space (the right people of course). No matter how many promises you’ve made for tomorrow, tomorrow doesn’t know that. Tomorrow promises nothing and at the same time allows you make it everything you can with its sweet and bitter nature. Tomorrow allows and warns you to prepare and that’s why working on self is crucial.
Think about it like this, if all conditions are met with you (i.e you’ve grown ready for tomorrow), the challenges that come with tomorrow wouldn’t frighten you even if it may break or make you.
Learn to invest your energy in positive attributes necessary to withstand the tomorrow you don’t know.
To be here, to join hands and to murmur what it’s like to feel this way. To feel like a woman that I didn’t choose to be but of the nature that chose me.
Here is to all the days and all the nights I stay with me, with womanhood thinking of how big of a smile I should give the next day even whilst groaning in pain. Here’s for now, where neglect and responsibility will cut through deep layers of my skin, yet I’ll stand and be silent of it all. I wish to celebrate everyday for the rest of my life women whose existence have hurt and broken them in ways that can’t be told or written, yet love is all they give.
To women of all colours and roles in life, you are a bold statue that can’t be washed away by lingering figures. You are waterproof and transparent amidst where you think you’ve been. You are still a rose to be admired by men that stand with you. You are deserving of all favours you’ve been turned down. You are all this because you are a woman.
The universe will make love to you in good timing, woman. we will all celebrate the joy and pride of being a woman with you because you are valuable and valid.
I hope you take care of yourself everyday for the rest of your days here. Happy WOMEN’S DAY!
I barely bore you with events of my university life on here but I know once in a while I drop one or two major ones. Going back to 2015, my first year, I had blogged about my resits (What if? #17), how awful it felt to had seen my name amongst those resitting Genetics and Statistics. How sad and unlucky my summer was. What I didn’t include was calling my parents and letting them know about the situation. The disappointment in their tone as they spoke to me whilst trying to be good parents and not make me feel worse about the whole situation, the after effect of the whole conversation moved me. I guess my attitude towards everything relating to university and my course became more questionable as days, months and years went by.
Second year was heavy. As my course is a three-year course here in the UK, more pressure was mounted on me and more effort was equally demanded with the load that came with the 12 modules I had done last year. The hustle to secure a placement made it even worse but that wasn’t an excuse not to scale through. At the end of the year, I was awoken yet again by another resit which until today I have managed to hide from my parents as I felt they would be bitter and really angry towards me if I had told them. Genetics again! At some point in time I joked about it to my friends, telling them how I’m “KINGING” in genetics resit zone. What felt terrible isn’t the fact that I had a resit, what made me break down most nights was the fact that 2:2 ends up being my portion even when I always seem to start off very well at the beginning of each semester. At some point, I just stopped asking why and accepted that university wasn’t for me. Thoughts of dropping out kicked in every now and then but the friends in my circle kept me grounded. They said my prayers with me, cried with me and most of all, they contributed to my healing and strength which led me into pursuing my final year.
It’s the 25th of February today, 22 weeks into final year and there is still no salvaging to my results so far. It hasn’t been stable and at the same time it hasn’t been the most brilliant. One half of my project and most of my course works released so far have been fluctuating with 2:1’s and 2:2’s. My first semester results came out and this time Genetics crossed the cut off point with only 7 marks and I’m most grateful to God for that miracle! the other paper sat comfortably on a 2:1 which to me is gracious. Hard-work and resilience have been with me since the school year started and to be honest with you, it is a struggle trying to move up from a 2:2. I am 3 weeks into second semester with 3 more course works, 4 more exams and my main project to finish. I am still with hope and so should you who is reading this thinking you’re sitting in the worst position or situation in life.
If everyone was equal, there wouldn’t be no school, no competition whatsoever and definitely no evolution but other people’s success shouldn’t stall us from ours or blind us from attaining unmeasurable success instead it should push us.
I did tweet this last week but it doesn’t mean I can’t do better. In fact it is not an excuse! It is the reason why I’m pushing to move on from a 2:2, proving to myself that even if it’s not for me, it is definitely not impossible!
I hope you find a grip too and go on from there dear reader. Do leave your thoughts and comments in the box below. Thank you.
The only authentic idea there is, is ‘nothing‘ as nothing sprouts from nothing. Every new idea is a replica of one that hasn’t been made to exist (still in thoughts and minds of roaming people) and also that which has already been made.
We talk about change. Ideas, perceptions, goals, theories, beliefs and so on, are all made alive to bring about change. Change is a supreme imitation which can be forged.
There are many people out there whose ideas sprout from others, of course this is our existence. It is human evolution. There are authentic outcomes that are brought about from pre-existing notions and experiences. In fact there are people who are weak at creating something tangible that has never been done before and there are those of us who are the opposite. This blog post relates to the former.
Facebook. We can all talk about it’s originality, and yes it is truly original. One man came up with the idea of a convenient means of communication which was totally different from what it used to be back in time, but do you think he was the only one who thought of a way for humans to communicate better? There are many instances of brilliant innovations that have been put to place today by geniuses and these geniuses, we sometimes forget are humans too. Whatsoever they’ve put out like I said is a replica of one that hasn’t been made to exist (still in thoughts and minds of roaming people) and also that which has already been made.
Most of us have role models, people that inspire us in different ways, people we look up to, tutors, teachers and what have you, but we fail most times to realize that we can gain those attributes we see in them in better ways, not necessarily the exact same way they put it out, but in ways that are more authentic and supreme.
I learn more from me by hearing and reading about other peoples’ experiences. I put words together when I’m inspired by the way others write sometimes. I mimic what others do with a bit of my own spice whilst giving credit to them. This doesn’t make me unoriginal, it only makes my own imitation supreme.
Are you more of a supreme imitator or an original creator? where does your ideas sprout from? I’d like to know dear bloggers.
Being a biomedical student in my first year was like my foundation program where everything was set out for me with proper guidelines and much push arounds to get me to stick my eyes to my books. I didn’t get the bigger picture of university life neither did I have a prescise direction to where I was headed. I was more or less just living and attending lectures. All I was aware of was that, I was in the University of Brighton, studying biomedical science and someday I’ll get to graduate from it, lol.
Second year didn’t come with a shock following the resits I had written over the summer. It was more or less like the main meal to me than starter. I made a plan, set my targets and had since been devoted to them. I came to embrace difficulties and complex subjects that I had always pushed aside. Things slowly started making sense, it still is tho:). Academically, I’m glad on how far I’ve come this semester even though I’ve got just two weeks left to christmas break. I’m satisfied with my engagement and the results of my efforts lately.
Alright! Enough rants about second year. I just finished with my preparation activity for a lab class I have this Wednesday in analytical chemistry and decided to put up a checklist for my student bloggers and those that are happy to know what I go with to study.
These are the necessities I take along with me each time I have a long-hour session in the library, at most 6-8 hours.
Firstly, If you are intending on studying for that long, you should expect mother nature to come competing with your eye balls. Yes! I mean sleep, especially when you’re not just making sense of what you’re reading. So? grab a cup of coffee or tea.
I love water bottles. I take mine to all lectures not just the library because I easily get thirsty. Call me a baby, I don’t care haha. Atleast they fill me when I get those rumbles in my stomach after deliberately missing breakfast.
I call this next one my personal purse. I stack my stationaries in it including my lip balm and memory stick. It comes in handy when I need to lend some highlighters.
A bad pen makes for a bad handwriting and bad mood for writing too. Make sure to choose the right pen when thinking of having one. I love Bic pens. Been using these ones since september and they still rock. Although the red one’s begging to be trashed already, I still cherish it lol.
The calculator couldn’t wait for its turn so it literally bombed my pens’ picture. If you’re a scientist, you should know better to have a calculator. Most people can relate to casio, few cannot. Well I can!
There’s nothing more refereshing than using A4 plain sheets to study. A lot of people won’t buy this idea but I think it’s great for usage because it is easily disposable, it makes you do more work than using a book and it’s convenient. A book limits you in the sense that you get more cautious about it finishing so you tend to prioritize, sort of :). Just my opinion tho.
Fooooooood! I think I’m literally the only person who goes to library prepared with all kinds of food. Fruits, snacks and proper dishes haha. I really can’t do the studying thing without food, so I go prepared :D. On your left is a staple food well known in Nigeria and it’s called garri and on your right is McVities biscuits. Oh well, finished it before blogging , sorry :D. Had some grapes too.
Garri mixed with sugar 🙂
McVities Tasties (yum! yum!!)
If you are like me who likes using a lot of textbooks for a subject, then you’re welcome to the party. I feel more comfortable borrowing atleast three to four textbooks from the library for a subject I want to fully understand. If one textbook works best for you, goodluck!
All these have to go in somewhere don’t they? That’s why we’ve all got school bags. I had this one nicked from a mate of mine in my first year and since then I haven’t given it back lol. “At the end we shall all possess school bags”-unknown (sorry that was me :D) hehe
I bet you’re exhausted reading this magazine of mine. Well here’s the last accessory I take with me these days. It’s been quite windy in Brighton due to the after math of the Hurricane that lasted somewhere I really don’t know but I care to. So I study with my snood most times because it gets quite cold inside especially at night. Here’s my brown fluffy snood 🙂
These are my main cannot-do-withouts (if there’s a word like that). Feel free to ask me any questions whatsoever on them. I would entertain weird and okay questions :). Its been an exciting year for me, somehow not quite but It feels good to progress.
If you are a student, worker or just a blogger, I challenge you to post your cannot-do-without check list. Do tag me and I’ll sure repost it on my blog. Thank you for wasting your time reading mine haha :). Have a Beautiful night rest in your own part of the world.
I remember those early days, we trusted tomorrow so much that we lost touch of what yesterday felt like. We would light candles whenever it got darker in the evenings and mock each other’s unawareness of our native riddles. Some nights, the rain visited and I’d cuddle with the boys under our huge blanket. No one reminded us of time. Time only made us realize ourselves when days waved their goodbyes.
The street nearly named us but they couldn’t knowing that we were the street itself. I’d play football naked in the mud and even under the rain with my pant joggling on my tiny waist. I’d put my siblings on a wheelbarrow and wheel them from street to street until I get weary of people yelling “crazy!” at me. I seldom loved the smell of bruises but cried from their pains. Something about those days made me write again.
I now ask myself for permission to play, I even categorize fun as mature and a litle bit awkward. I’ve lost that childhood freedom to go through tiny tunnels, swing as high as never or even say something out of free will without being thought as naive. Even with all these cautiousness, I still never admit that I admire children, their innocence and open-mindedness to learn. Their soft yet timid heart, their stubbornness to restraints and most especially their quite freedom.
We can’t always lose track of where we’ve been even if we don’t want to go back there. Some people never had good childhood memories and you can never blame them for it. Some went through physical, mental and spiritual pain, abuse, isolation, poverty, loneliness and what have you and they lived through it, looking back on those days till today. A lot of people embrace their childhood even with all the soreness it left them because it has made them that better tomorrow they never saw then.
Life is a runway. We would all get to the frontline at some point, be seen, loved and appreciated before we leave the earth. Don’t be stuck in the ugliness of how the present moment looks like, instead be excited about your beautiful tomorrow. You are yours truly, love.