Picture gotten from-Camilleabrown
We will all grow to a point where we learn not to lie against ourselves, where we will all outgrow our humble beginnings. We will reach a point of satiety in our lives one way or the other, where we fear less about what we used to hesitate to question. Growing out of reach and building with both whole and broken pieces.
As we grow (not age), the descendants of unclarity begin to die out. Purpose becomes priority and questions you find yourself often asking begin to get answered by your motives, time input and resources available to you. Sometimes the cost will be tied to falling out with certain herds, sometimes the cost may fall to alone times you spend reflecting and sometimes it may even cost you losing yourself in the process. How you make your journey and the most you make out of it depends on your plans, ties and decisions. Being tenacious may become somewhat necessary in times openness is as well. The thirst for pride, ego and attention will kick in every now and then. You trust less, you create more and you begin to despise healthy criticism, which is all human nature.
However, curbing and managing attributes that are distasteful to your growing process allows for maximum control of your potential. It puts you in a place where you regard everyone as equal, a place where you can welcome respect as you give it.
You are in charge of your life. You are the key to every problem you are facing even if those problems are triggered and caused by people. The moment you realize how important you are to your own journey, the more time you invest in your growth allowing others identify with and fall into your space (the right people of course). No matter how many promises you’ve made for tomorrow, tomorrow doesn’t know that. Tomorrow promises nothing and at the same time allows you make it everything you can with its sweet and bitter nature. Tomorrow allows and warns you to prepare and that’s why working on self is crucial.
Think about it like this, if all conditions are met with you (i.e you’ve grown ready for tomorrow), the challenges that come with tomorrow wouldn’t frighten you even if it may break or make you.
Learn to invest your energy in positive attributes necessary to withstand the tomorrow you don’t know.
Dyna Ekwueme Copyright, 2017.
Picture gotten from-Pinterest
Clingy girls often wonder how girls that spend weeks and months away from their men survive. Other times they question why some girls that claim to be in love are so attached to privacy. How these other girls don’t talk about their men to their friends or even family, they ponder on what a few girls view as normal.
I was once a clingy girl, I bought into the idea that one has to think about their man like he were their favourite food, that every single time kind of thinking. It was more like craving someone when they aren’t there and even more when they are present. Being clingy made me less gullible to and very repellent of other men. It made me believe in soul mates. It made me believe in being in love.
Transiting from clinginess however, taught me one or two things about myself, it helped me understand men and at the same time understand the importance of space in any given relationship.
Here’s a list of problems you may find with a clingy girl;
- A girl who is clingy may befriend everything of yours ranging from what you love doing to what you find unbearable. She may want to be friends with all your friends and family members. She may want to be involved in your hobbies as well.
- A clingy girl is very inquisitive. She’d like to know what, why, when, how and where you get involved with things. This may not necessarily be in a bad way but most times it is her own way of caring and looking out for you.
- She may be impossibly into you and may seldom feel a bit left out when you prioritize something you enjoy doing or other people you enjoy hanging out with over her.
- If you’re in it with a clingy girl you may eventually realize how gradually your lives begin to intertwine. Your daily routine may begin to revolve around hers as she may eat deeply into yours with time. You both will have five or more things only you both are peculiar with (may be a phrase, code, people, places or even slangs).
- A clingy girl finds it okay to invade your privacy (as in her head, what’s yours is hers).
Most men may find these problems as no problem in the start of a relationship however, most are often worn out after they realize that their girl may not necessarily stop being herself. Although clingy girls are hardly talked out of their relationships and are mostly trustworthy and open minded, they may on the long run become toxic to their men. This toxicity may be caused by the accumulation of lies and unnecessary fights brewed by their men in order to have their own space and avoid being suffocated.
Some clingy girls repel their men in future and may often push them to derive excitement from staying clear from them which may not necessarily happen with the intention to hurt them.
Being clingy is one good way to stay in love but it is also important to enjoy your own space and build in it when in a relationship.
Have you ever been a clingy girl? or do you think you currently can relate to some of these problems? Is your girl clingy? I’d love to know what you’re thinking in the comment section dear reader. I’d love you to add to the list as well if you are aware of any more problems. Thank you.
Dyna Ekwueme Copyright, 2017.
I had an Asian friend who I had known for over a year leave me a goodbye note. On it, part of what she had written said “..it’s been a really great pleasure to have met you, my very first Negro friend”. To be totally honest with you, I had a rush of mixed feelings just reading that line. I laughed, got offended, laughed again, cried and ran out to give her a tight hug. Why? Firstly, I imagined being her only black friend out of the battalion of my kind we have in our city, Brighton. I also thought how naive she was not to know that calling me a ‘Negro’ was sort of offensive but I read that line again and laughed again “..my very first Negro friend”. At that moment it occurred to me that, I wasn’t going to see her again until fate or coincidence brings us back together. I thought of her presence for the past one year and how time loves goodbyes. I cried for a girl for the first time in my life.
What am I insinuating?
You won’t know the feeling of magic until you experience something for the first time. It may not be like mine with someone triggering the effect, it may just be you creating and experiencing your own magic. Perhaps, the word ‘magic’ can be a bit too imaginative. Let’s call it a sensational feeling, one that renews your adrenaline. Think about the first time you had done/started something (esp. something that you love and chose to do). The feeling definitely doesn’t feel like the end of it, it doesn’t equate to the time it begins to grow weary, it’s so alive. That, sometimes is what pushes us to finish or continue, the thought of what and why we started. Sometimes the memory it leaves builds up and takes over our strength to carry through even when the initial thought is dead. The magic in ‘first times’ should be felt as often as the zeal you have for consistency.
When was the first time you decided to go for a walk, or probably read a book? When was the first time you chose to change your hair colour, take another route to work? When was the first time you gave something you cherish to the needy or leave someone random kind words? When was the first time you chose to meditate, to switch off and go offline for a while? When was the last time you told the people you cherish how much you appreciate and love them, the first time you hung out with people that are not in your class, race or even circle? These may all sound daunting or probably scary but believe me you, the feeling you get from ‘first times’ are more reviving than the consistent thing you’ve been doing your whole life.
Get up! Go out! and experience your own magic! dear reader.
Dyna Ekwueme Copyright, 2016.
We were once reminded of what it felt like to live with more. To free all manner of ill-thoughts and live free, even when things that matter don’t feel like it does. Many voices wrote for the truth and many others against it. Characters exhibited their ignorance even when knowledge was crystal clear, limitless and valued. Patience was a tale and people that did have one were told off! It felt like the people’s voice weren’t heard in their heads no more, like they were more human with more sense of an unforgiving emptiness. I was lost in their thinking trap.
Selflessness is an attitude I admire in people but fail to adapt to. It’s what’s lacking in many personalities today including mine. You can gain someone’s trust, be loyal, respectful, enthusiastic, jolly at all times but it takes a different kind of you to always put others first, even when they aren’t thinking about you. I figured out that it is hard to lose any sort of connection with people like this, why? Because they are always there for you.
Let me tell you how I learned to forgive those that hurt me. I didn’t ignore them or block them or delete them or pretend that they didn’t exist. I talked to them, I befriended them again, I started anew but with me in my space, not theirs. I let it go only when they were willing to. The worst I did was let them live their lives without me and vice versa, it wasn’t a pain but a better way to feed my heart and soul.
Yes, I struggle to believe that people who claim to have some sort of terms and conditions in their lives live up to it. I find it hard to accommodate certain attributes that don’t feed me enough mentally. I guess that’s why people think that there is just more to me than me. Every art is special and when I mean art I mean you. You are a special kind of craft. One that people would travel from afar to come admire. You’re a craft so bliss and beautiful. Isn’t that enough for you to love yourself and reciprocate it to others?
The ignorance in us is the knowledge of beauty, love and ourselves. The pride is the unwillingness to be selfless and the truth is in self forgiveness and the forgiveness of others. Until we wake up to reality, we would still be dreaming for more, more love to give and more of ourselves that we should give when truly there’s no spare!.
Dyna Ekwueme copyright, 2015.