Nwoke’m

Do you ever listen to your own repetitive connections at 03:00 am too?

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Picture gotten from-Pininterest

I’m starting to think imaginations are art. I’m starting to love the entangling emotions built from it. How strangely I could be fluid and solid like an umelted candle at the same time. I’m starting to feel all the same.

Yesterday, I thought. The day before I did too and many days and months before then again, I’ve been thinking. How would someone like you meet me? Would it be spontaneous, would be soft or angry? Would it be in a crowded room or when I’m by myself. That’s the scary part of thinking. I don’t want to be ready. I want to be with myself in full, in love, vulnerable and loud. I want us to meet unforced just like the universe has been with me lately. No mind games, no holding back. I like the modern approach, the evolution of it all. Descriptive dialogues and unending gist of our taste in music, books, movies and other people, what we worry about when it gets dark. Tell me where else you would be when you’re not with me.

Nwoke’m

When you’re here, your past is. The darkness of it won’t scare my love, I pray. The time you choose to be weak, I’ll be strong, I pray. The time you’d change, I’d learn to adapt, I pray. These are not my affirmations, they are hopefully who I’ll grow to be for me and for you until that “someday”. I believe our feet have come across same footpaths more than twice, I believe time is keeping you for magic. You are a future to wait for.

Keep yourself for me.

Nwoke’m (Igbo translation for “my man”)

Dyna Ekwueme Copyright, 2017.

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Happy women’s Day

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Picture gotten from-Figurative art

To be here, to join hands and to murmur what it’s like to feel this way. To feel like a woman that I didn’t choose to be but of the nature that chose me.

Here is to all the days and all the nights I stay with me, with womanhood thinking of how big of a smile I should give the next day even whilst groaning in pain. Here’s for now, where neglect and responsibility will cut through deep layers of my skin, yet I’ll stand and be silent of it all. I wish to celebrate everyday for the rest of my life women whose existence have hurt and broken them in ways that can’t be told or written, yet love is all they give.

To women of all colours and roles in life, you are a bold statue that can’t be washed away by lingering figures. You are waterproof and transparent amidst where you think you’ve been. You are still a rose to be admired by men that stand with you. You are deserving of all favours you’ve been turned down. You are all this because you are a woman.

The universe will make love to you in good timing, woman. we will all celebrate the joy and pride of being a woman with you because you are valuable and valid.

I hope you take care of yourself everyday for the rest of your days here. Happy WOMEN’S DAY!

Dyna Ekwueme Copyright, 2016.

Oh sweet mama!

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For those who harbour a special kind of love in their hearts, I believe you all can relate to the chills your mum/mummy/mama gives you. For those who have lost theirs to this cruel world, I believe you all too can feel yours even more than I do. Every mum is a blessing, a celebration and a joy to the hearts of those who cherish a good thing.

I can’t say I’m closer to my mum than I am to my dad but part of who I am today was hugely impacted by mama. She would resound these native proverbs (incomprehensible ones) when I was little each time she wasn’t happy with me and they never really made sense until now. I sing them to my friends in English like I’m actually advising them when in reality I miss being scolded by mama. She makes the most jokes in the house and will always be the first to discipline any of my siblings including me whenever we decide to be naughty. I hated the days of “church every sunday and wednesday” coupled with “fellowship every friday” but all that I miss now knowing how much I’ve drifted away and how far from home I am.

It’s not easy to raise five children, and sometimes I look back now and admire mama in the purest way ever. The least she does is complain about how best we should be doing, instead she would find alternatives even if it means risking her all to get it for us all. Everyone in the house will call her “mgbo” (meaning-bullet) because she’s overly protective of her own especially towards papa. I’d tease her sometimes about her tummy asking her when we’d be expecting more siblings. Her response never changes anyway “Zuzuru gi shi eba puo!” (meaning- stupidly get out of here!).

I was never used to saying “I love you” to her but staying away from home for more than a year has got me into the habit of doing so, knowing how much I miss her and her Sunday white rice with “ofe akwu” (palm kernel soup). One of the tastiest you’ll ever have from a typical Igbo (ethnic group in Nigeria) home. Mama will giggle and say “Okay” each time I tell her I love her. Guess that’s the Nigerian way of saying “me too”. I very much miss my mum and I can’t bear another year apart from her nor my dad and siblings.

How much does/did your mama/mum mean/meant to you dear reader? Would love to know if there are momma’s boys and girls around my blog :). Thank you for reading.

Dyna Ekwueme Copyright, 2016.

 

Empty but still as beautiful

This is the way you found me.

The profoundness of my honesty that you broke with all the pain you left unstitched. How pure my tears were until they began to drop with grains of my mascara. The forming of the old soul in me.

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Even as broken as I was with your reciprocation of love with lies, the bitterness of rubbing it in each passing day and refusing to let my soul breathe, I still have me. Even when I gave me up for you, compromised my ‘me’ time for you, the patience of self haunted me back in a good way.

I’m still as beautiful anyway, only that presently I know where my beauty chooses to stay. Paying less attention to the world that settles with being sympathetic about the way I choose to turn up in my own space. Killing them subconsciously with my genuine pursuit of happiness and self-love. Hope you good still?

Dyna Ekwueme Copyright, 2016.

Resonance

I leave you these.

Share your favourite thought-provoking and mind/soul healing quotes in the comment section. You can also leave links to good reads, I’d really appreciate it. Thank you.

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Dyna Ekwueme Copyright, 2016.

Every ideal blogger’s worry- 5 main worries with possible solutions.

Whether you’re an established blogger or a start-out or even an intermediate in putting out contents, there are certain things you fear that could happen along the line. Here are a few of most likely worries that bloggers experience with possible solutions to fighting them.

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  • Audience Response–  Questions like “would I get backlashes from this post?”, “will my audience fall in numbers?” “can I get reported, put down or petitioned against if I air this opinion of mine?” might resonate in an active blogger’s mind before publishing a post for the world to see. It may not necessarily be these questions but most questions that come in mind tend to be audience-targeted as they are the major building block of blogs.

 Solution– Just post it! You’ll never know if your presumed controversial post might turn out to be your breakthrough or the post that receives recognition from an organization you least expect. Therefore, the only solution to this worry is publishing that thought, story, event or whatever that content of yours may be.

  • Information coverage– I think this comes before what my audience have to say in my own case. Most bloggers fear lack of knowledge and insufficient amount of information being put in their post for many reasons. This could be seen with most book and movie review bloggers, reporters or any sort of blog that has to deal with publishing enormous details for their audience compliance  or service use.

          Solution–  In this case, I’d advice leaving links to more information on the subject area posted, pictures and most importantly asking your readers to share their own thoughts in the comment section, that way you interact and tend to cover what you think wasn’t from answering questions and building a community.

  • References and copyrights– Only a careless blogger will make use of a copyright content without acknowledging the source. Even with acknowledgements made, most bloggers fear illegal use of materials from websites and other sources.

          Solution–  It is helpful and most appropriate to inquire on the use of a content not owned by you and to also leave reference details which may include web links about the material/s used.

  • Theme (future changes)– Most bloggers who for instance started off blogging on photography and travel might want to switch it up a bit with/to journalism along the line. These bloggers tend to fear audience-drift/loss. This happens most times with bloggers that start off blogging for the fun of it all or with no particular genre in mind and then go on later to specialize on blogging in a particular field or what they tend to enjoy blogging the most.

         Solution– Panic not. You may either choose to open a separate blog and inform your current audience on the change beforehand which leaves you managing two blogs instead of one or you may also choose to do it all in one blog by opening a new menu, titling it with your chosen field and informing your audience about the changes made. No matter how many readers you lose using any of these strategies you’re likely to gain more for what you’re passionate about. Why not do it?

  • Revenue– This may not be start-out bloggers cup of tea but definitely for the majority who make a living from the contents they put out. These bloggers worry about their profits and losses. They try to give out content where they earn the most and this they monitor using their statistics. Of course, this should be their main worry but fighting this enables them grow and stay focused without drifting from their passion whilst earning from it.

          Solution– Do not ignore the polls!. Every now and then, go through your stats thoroughly. Look at the contents that gets viewed and requested the most. Find innovative ways to carry your readers along without drifting from your original plan. Also, see to it that you read and respond to your emails. Take up advertising opportunities from organizations and individuals sending you their products and services. You may also want to keep up to date with information and advice on how to successfully grow your revenue over time. This can be done by joining local forums, going for seminars and speaking to people who are ahead of you in your blogging area.

These are a few points I have observed that sets back most bloggers. If there are any more major concerns you feel that you battle with as a blogger, please let us know in the comment section so we can render possible solutions or discuss it in detail. Thank you.

Dyna Ekwueme Copyright, 2016.

Poise

They say something about writers that I often believe isn’t untrue. You can tell the kind of life they live from their words, what they feel and how they feel. Although, most people often refer to actions as being the loudest amongst written words, I read patterns from crossed ‘Ts’ and dotted ‘Is’. Some would rather kill you and bury their guilt in words than stand up against you and utter a word. This is an example of balance I suppose.

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Picture gotten from-Colossal

What makes you you?

I’d like to be blunt. Think bluntly too dear reader.

This question should pop up every now and then in your daily life.

What makes you feel true, not what makes you feel like you should be some type of way. Not that stereotype kind of person. I’m not asking about the you you feel you should change to suit a particular circle or person. What is it that genuinely makes you smile, makes you get up in the morning and feel purposeful? What is it you feel you should be doing rather than which you are doing for a certain reason best known to you? The day you get the true answer to that question that is the very day you begin to live a life full of value. A life with so much to offer and less to ask from.

Most people up until their late forties suffer from identity crisis, not knowing where they belong or what it is they are truly living for. Others either just go with life or are very certain of what it is they ought to build for and lose as life goes on. Whichever way it is that we are climbing the ladder, we as individuals all get to that point where we stop and process it all. We reflect and make changes. The only difference is that these changes either gets worse or better. Creating a balance with life helps weed out the unnecessary, it humbles our little beginnings and keeps us woke.

Become a student over and over

Ryan Holiday, the author of the book ‘Ego is the enemy’ described one of the reasons for prolonged success in most moguls and successful people that have lived and still is, is cultivating the habit of re-learning. It might not be the best advise but going back and learning the basis of what brought you farther than ever and applying them over and over makes you the best at what you do. It humbles you enough to also learn from others and realize how much the foundation play a bigger role in sustaining timely success.

Energy is an investment

What you place value in is where you spend most of your time. To create balance, energy must be of value too. This determines where that ladder you’re climbing is heading to. Do you spend most of your time investing in people who are less invested in you? You’ll find that you’ll be losing yourself in the process. Do you make time for things that will develop your mind and encourage you to live healthier and happier? The results won’t lie at all as you’ll find yourself growing and developing from stage to stage. Energy is a heavy investment that determines where you’ll be in years to come. Invest wisely and you’ll find your reap to be solely built upon what you made time for.

There are many ways to enlarge your horizon and still be in balance, when you begin answering the first question asked in this piece “what makes you you?” you’ll find that initial step to help you put it all together and move on from there.

I’d like you to share with me ways that you create balance for yourself and your inner mind in the comment box. Thank you.

Dyna Ekwueme Copyright, 2016.

 

 

Blogging series 6: Public appraisal

by Emediong Etetim

In the world where your life is being judged by your online content, where you do not have an interesting day if it isn’t posted on snapchat or your style sense isn’t on par if you do not have a crisp photo on Instagram showing off your latest designer purchase. It is not very surprising that self validation is also being set by twitter’s standards.

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Picture gotten from-Pixabay

In the world where trends are to be followed in order to stay relevant, where everyone’s mind is now programmed to think alike, to act alike, if you do not know the latest music releases, the latest celebrity couples and their cats, the most recent dance moves, or you’re not sporting the pointiest eyeliner, then “girl you tripping”. And you’d sit and wonder whatever happened to ‘uniqueness’.

The words ‘different’, ‘special’, ‘unique’ are all slowly getting lost in our dictionary. Everyone doing all they can to stay relevant even if it means morphing into carbon copies of already existing duplicates. Everyone trying to standout as a clone that they are forgetting that a photocopy will always remain just a mediocre of the original.

We’re all walking, talking faceless ‘ordinaries’ allowing ‘relevance’ to draw patterns unto us as they deem fit, still lacking distinction regardless.

To those who have managed to stay true, and self aware…

Part 2 contributed by Dyna Ekwueme

To those who don’t fall for mediocrity and cliché of existing contents and lifestyle. To those who don’t fit in the stereotypes displayed by the society and pressure exerted by peers and the  outside world that can’t see through their walls. This is not for you.

I want to speak my mind. I want to be free like that little child, be open to learning new things and absorbing the differences in us that shapes our inner minds. I want to be feared by my fears, put what matters first and not what appears to be important. I want to love not for the fashion or looks or the utterances made by jealous minds. I want to care less about the public, be humbled by little beginnings and fight for those who can’t find strength within them, yet I still crave to act otherwise because it’s what the public wants. That is the better way I believe the public can better appraise me. What a mess!

Do you write for your sake or that of the others?

Can you atone for the times you failed to recognize what could have been better? Is it ego or is it just us who are slowly dying from what the world has thrown at us? How much more are you willing to let out before you tell the real story behind how far you’ve come? where do you recognize as home? Here or there?

Disclaimer: This post was originally written and inspired by Emediong Etetim and part contributed by me. There was no third party to this collaboration.

Find out more about Emediong ( For lifestyle, fashion and real  life collaborations) on

Stylepith.com

IG- @em.etetim

Dyna Ekwueme Copyright, 2016.

Evidence: In My Own Skin

I don’t know what’s hidden behind your own pigment. As an individual, I can’t speak for your own representation, the way you want the world to see you, the way you choose to feel.

Picture gotten from-BlackandWhite

I use “I”.

I use it because as a person, you are allowed what you are, your opinions, thoughts, perception. Freedom. You.

What about “us”?

Collectively we’ve made generations, we’ve brought about various changes, we’ve stood against fear, we’ve beared war strokes, we’ve failed and conquered, we’ve told these stories over and over yet we’ve only been able to achieve these by mere differences in skin colour.

You still believe in different races?

How many parents have inculcated values, norms and discipline without speaking of other skin colours? How many of us have been promised a position or title without having a black, white or mixed skin option stall us? How many are guilty of the type of skin colour they allow in their space? How many still don’t believe in one race, the human race?

“I’m white, you’re not, I’m black, you’re not”

How long are we willing to go on for?

As a black woman, I believe in my roots and culture. I believe in the wars of my heroes’ past. I believe that those wars were won for my freedom today. I believe I’m seldom jugded by the profounding effect of my melanocytes, distrusted often and doubted when I’m most willing. I believe I have to be sorry even when I’m not, questioned for my rights in another man’s country. I believe I have to go hard if ever I want to rise above standards. I believe I’m unique, so are you, no matter what your skin colour is.

In this age, more people are being educated on oneness, more are taught on accepting every other distinct colour from theirs yet, in this age the skin colour black still bleeds. It is still perceived as unaccepted in most parts of the world, demeaning individuals who bear them.

How more can I be Human?

Dyna Ekwueme Copyright, 2016.

The missing notes in our tongues

..he made mention that he was the kind of man he thought every other woman needed.

Picture gotten from-DailyMail

I hated surprises, especially romantic ones. The exact words to let out was my fear. Fear of you feeling less appreciated or screaming out the exact words you needed to hear boldly, which could make me seem like the joke.

It was just one city away, far East yet hearts so close that they almost beat on the same rhythm. We spoke sometimes in music, our foreign language, all night whilst our siblings slept. The night felt alive with us.

What are your fantasies like?. He.

Do you daydream of that type of love that those who crave to be seen have?

The type of love made in cinemas, away from cameras with eyes shooting every scene in 3D. He.

No. She

I daydream in motions, still images of well crafted energy. One that burns without a single touch. The mutual kind babe. She.

Surreal,

I thought I told you. I thought we both share the honesty of words we want to say and not the ones we want each other to hear. Oblivious of how much time we spent on living the lies we never figured out. The wrecking silence and those looks that cost us this thing we nearly had.

Have you ever been loved like me?

The kind of bad that tasted better, really sensational. The one unsure, the one people think that hurts.

29/04 /..   He

“I forgot to kiss you in your favourite place, your edge. I forgot to dance with you whilst we kissed under the rain. I forgot you. You don’t forget those you love, do you? You only miss them again and again in their absence. I thought I was the one for you, but I only realize, I’m the kind every other woman needs”

Okay…

 

Dyna Ekwueme Copyright, 2016.