Clingy girl problems: 5 main problems

Image result for black couple in black and white

Picture gotten from-Pinterest

Clingy girls often wonder how girls that spend weeks and months away from their men survive. Other times they question why some girls that claim to be in love are so attached to privacy. How these other girls don’t talk about their men to their friends or even family, they ponder on what a few girls view as normal.

I was once a clingy girl, I bought into the idea that one has to think about their man like he were their favourite food, that every single time kind of thinking. It was more like craving someone when they aren’t there and even more when they are present. Being clingy made me less gullible to and very repellent of other men. It made me believe in soul mates. It made me believe in being in love.

Transiting from clinginess however, taught me one or two things about myself, it helped me understand men and at the same time understand the importance of space in any given relationship.

Here’s a list of problems you may find with a clingy girl;

  1. A girl who is clingy may befriend everything of yours ranging from what you love doing to what you find unbearable. She may want to be friends with all your friends and family members. She may want to be involved in your hobbies as well.
  2. A clingy girl is very inquisitive. She’d like to know what, why, when, how and where you get involved with things. This may not necessarily be in a bad way but most times it is her own way of caring and looking out for you.
  3. She may be impossibly into you and may seldom feel a bit left out when you prioritize something you enjoy doing or other people you enjoy hanging out with over her.
  4. If you’re in it with a clingy girl you may eventually realize how gradually your lives begin to intertwine. Your daily routine may begin to revolve around hers as she may eat deeply into yours with time. You both will have five or more things only you both are peculiar with (may be a phrase, code, people, places or even slangs).
  5. A clingy girl finds it okay to invade your privacy (as in her head, what’s yours is hers).

Most men may find these problems as no problem in the start of a relationship however, most are often worn out after they realize that their girl may not necessarily stop being herself. Although clingy girls are hardly talked out of their relationships and are mostly trustworthy and open minded, they may on the long run become toxic to their men. This toxicity may be caused by the accumulation of lies and unnecessary fights brewed by their men in order to have their own space and avoid being suffocated.

Some clingy girls repel their men in future and may often push them to derive excitement from staying clear from them which may not necessarily happen with the intention to hurt them.

Being clingy is one good way to stay in love but it is also important to enjoy your own space and build in it when in a relationship.

Have you ever been a clingy girl? or do you think you currently can relate to some of these problems? Is your girl clingy? I’d love to know what you’re thinking in the comment section dear reader. I’d love you to add to the list as well if you are aware of any more problems. Thank you.

Dyna Ekwueme Copyright, 2017.

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Daddy issues

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Picture gotten from-Pinterest

There are three main things self-reflection may teach a patient mind: self-discipline, acceptance/openness and self-control. There are many ways people may choose to reflect which may either be loud or to the heart.

We are greater than the things we say for ourselves. We restrict our abilities to only what our eyes may have encountered and not fully with our minds and brains. We neglect the paths our hearts may create for us in thoughts of it being fragile and so delicate, forgetting that what’s broken may still be broken again in order for it to mend.

Submission

I’m very aware of reasons why feminists fight to be heard. I don’t blame extreme sexists that pull major chords as I’m intertwined in being non-feminist and sexist at the same time. I break a little when I watch things not add up with submission, when women are ridiculed about their softness. I’ve watched mum for years, I’ve seen loyalty, I’ve questioned her love.  “How can a woman, so powerful, so filled with knowledge be this?” I’ve seen other women too. I’ve watched myself try to grow out of it but it’s a born ritual. It’s my own way of welcoming peace. It’s my only power over the other.

Trust

We can totally be honest with each other but lack this. We can hold hands, laugh, talk about the children and eat in good silence when we are certain about our distrust for each other. Evenings made me believe that the sun may rise at sunset. My sister and I would read conversations with words very familiar with love written by unfamiliar people. We would both lay under blankets and brew gossips about these evenings. We were soul sisters. We grew to hate what men that looked like this do. We still talk about it, we still cry a little over what we’ve known. It’s almost like disappearing from what seems to mean good because we weren’t shown how goodness can be trusted when it’s felt. It’s not normal to be thought of  that way by another, I think every now and then.

I wish I have someone to blame everytime I choose to run with my eyes. I hope everyday for the day I was first heart broken by my eyes to be erased from my head. I don’t want to be reminded of being broken in a place that I should run to when I’m broken. I hate to talk about home to people that don’t feel like home, I don’t hate to run from home because of my eyes and the crotches it walks with when there. I hate the thought that the first man that warmed my hands when I came into this cold world stalls me from breathing into a certain type of peace I crave.

Daddy issues.

 

Dyna Ekwueme Copyright, 2017

Relationship CV

Here is a profile of someone desperately looking for love in wrong and right places.

Picture from WeHeartIt

RESUME

I wouldn’t claim that I’m living a wonderful life but the life I’ve lived has been a good one. People have experienced me, my good and bad but still left me with sores and void spaces. Giving up on my search is not part of who I am. In short, changing my image to fit a particular person that seems to me like they love me is part of my mission. I am a devoted, faithful, sweet, romantic, hardworking and cheerful person you would always love to be with. I don’t mind if you cheat on me cause I know most men are prone to that, I don’t even mind if you beat me up, my parents raised me up like that, so I see it as discipline. All I want is your constant love, assurance and not waking up one day to put me behind. I believe I can make a good wife and eventually raise kids for you but all I’m asking is for you to accept my plea and be my man/woman.

CV

The new generation man/woman (2000and..)

78 Netflix and chill avenue, Zombie ZF7 0PQ

016894327555

KEY SKILLS

Managerial Experience

  • Being an office worker since my teenage life has equipped me with basic personal skills that makes me a good manager.
  • Speaking with tons of people on daily basis has improved both my communication skills and my courtesy too.
  • Can deal with pressure from people and settle difficult issues regarding company’s problems or even personal problems of co-workers
  • My social life has improved over the past few years by frequently setting nights out, parties, date nights or  a mere social gathering with companies that partner and do business with where I work
  • My sense of humour is admired by every client and co-worker.

Personal Experience

  • Am too much of myself so I constantly look for a complement.
  • I have a phobia when I think of myself at 50 years of age alone and weary.
  • I love long hugs, watching movies and cuddling with the opposite sex.
  • I can totally fit in with anyone and everyone because I’m  always on the look for someone.
  • Living for self is boring and complicated so I tend to live for people

HISTORY

From mother’s womb-14yrs – Naïve and ignorant

15-20yrs– Series of unserious dates and self exploration

21-25yrs– Serious relationships and getting dumped

26yrs-Present– Desperately searching

EDUCATION

I wouldn’t want to mention this to avoid scaring some people away. I’m open to all and I just want you to know that I’m a smart and successful man/woman.

POSITION OF RESPONSIBILITY

  • Nearly became a baby mama/baby father
  • Relationship adviser
  • Side chick/man
  • Main chick/man
  • Open and casual relationship
  • Friends with benefits

INTERESTS

Love skiing and flying kites, Travelling

REFEREES/REFERENCE

Available when we are in a relationship

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DISCLAIMER:This is not everyone’s way of life and certainly not how everyone approach relationships. I advice you take nothing written above personal cause I’m only putting down my own thoughts and opinion on how many people nowadays tend to give away their beautiful selves in the name of searching for love. This is not to bash people or what they believe in, it’s only my own point of view.

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When you desperately look for love in certain places, this is likely the signal you put off to people to show them that love is all you want. We forget the need to fall first for ourselves, we forget that people would only fall in love with us when they see that person who is in content with themselves. This post is not to put people away from loving someone but to remind us that love is free, love is for everyone and everyone someday would get to see through another with all manner of love and not coercion.

Do share your thoughts on this subject in the reply box below. Thank you

Dyna Ekwueme Copyright, 2015.