Struggling out of a 2:2 this final year: my Biomedical Science tale

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I barely bore you with events of my university life on here but I know once in a while I drop one or two major ones. Going back to 2015, my first year, I had blogged about my resits (What if? #17), how awful it felt to had seen my name amongst those resitting Genetics and Statistics. How sad and unlucky my summer was. What I didn’t include was calling my parents and letting them know about the situation. The disappointment in their tone as they spoke to me whilst trying to be good parents and not make me feel worse about the whole situation, the after effect of the whole conversation moved me. I guess my attitude towards everything relating to university and my course became more questionable as days, months and years went by.

Second year was heavy. As my course is a three-year course here in the UK, more pressure was mounted on me and more effort was equally demanded with the load that came with the 12 modules I had done last year. The hustle to secure a placement made it even worse but that wasn’t an excuse not to scale through. At the end of the year, I was awoken yet again by another resit which until today I have managed to  hide from my parents as I felt they would be bitter and really angry towards me if I had told them. Genetics again! At some point in time I joked about it to my friends, telling them how I’m “KINGING” in genetics resit zone. What felt terrible isn’t the fact that I had a resit, what made me break down most nights was the fact that 2:2 ends up being my portion even when I always seem to start off very well at the beginning of each semester. At some point, I just stopped asking why and accepted that university wasn’t for me. Thoughts of dropping out kicked in every now and then but the friends in my circle kept me grounded. They said my prayers with me, cried with me and most of all, they contributed to my healing and strength which led me into pursuing my final year.

It’s the 25th of February today, 22 weeks into final year and there is still no salvaging to my results so far. It hasn’t been stable and at the same time it hasn’t been the most brilliant. One half of my project and most of my course works released so far have been fluctuating with 2:1’s and 2:2’s. My first semester results came out and this time Genetics crossed the cut off point with only 7 marks and I’m most grateful to God for that miracle! the other paper sat comfortably on a 2:1 which to me is gracious. Hard-work and resilience have been with me since the school year started and to be honest with you,  it is a struggle trying to move up from a 2:2. I am 3 weeks into second semester  with 3 more course works, 4 more exams and my main project to finish. I am still with hope and so should you who is reading this thinking you’re sitting in the worst position or situation in life.

If everyone was equal, there wouldn’t be no school, no competition whatsoever and definitely no evolution but other people’s success shouldn’t stall us from ours or blind us from attaining  unmeasurable success instead it should push us.

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I did tweet this last week but it doesn’t mean I can’t do better. In fact it is not an excuse! It is the reason why I’m pushing to move on from a 2:2, proving to myself that even if it’s not for me, it is definitely not impossible!

I hope you find a grip too and go on from there dear reader. Do leave your thoughts and comments in the box below. Thank you.

Dyna Ekwueme Copyright, 2017.

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My Body Remembers: a post on Domestic Violence

For some who see confrontation as another war, pain is their safe haven.

Picture gotten from-JenniferLeigh

Giving people another chance can be your deepest weakness especially when you’ve tied love, fear and being alone as your reason. Sometimes our culture, religion, society and believes hold us down, people too. Often, confiding in someone becomes what is best fitted and not what the worst case scenario may be, as you only give in bits and pieces of what seem to be an endless fight for you. Loneliness could sometimes be your resort as you don’t want these other people judging and cursing you for remaining.

Woman, Man, this is for you. You, who go through hell in those walls I don’t see. You, who choose to love even when it’s been stripped off of its pure nature and presented bitter. You, who blame yourself for another’s mess  and go into depression and anxiety for feeling less understood and undervalued. I write for the man/woman seeking a god for change each time another chance is given to your oppressor. The man/woman held by ethics to embrace brutality and self-harm of many kinds.

Look at those defining scars. Listen to your own resistance, how it bleeds. Measure up how much you’ve endured, the time you wished ticked faster and the throbbing of your heart each time you attempt to hold back. You are bold to have endured. You are strong to have stayed. Your tear bags are however running out.

Resonate. It’s not too late if you’re reading this. Here’s a sign that there is hope.

The therapy you need starts with you walking away love. I encourage you, the world that doesn’t support this does too. You are valued and you are loved, not by the people that cause you pain neither is it by the toxic river you’re drowning in, but by a better world waiting for you out here.

Dear Man,

Dear Woman,

No matter how rigid you may be, how discreet you may hide the scars, your body will always remember. It will tell.

#SayNoToDomesticViolence

Dyna Ekwueme Copyright, 2016.

 

Relationship CV

Here is a profile of someone desperately looking for love in wrong and right places.

Picture from WeHeartIt

RESUME

I wouldn’t claim that I’m living a wonderful life but the life I’ve lived has been a good one. People have experienced me, my good and bad but still left me with sores and void spaces. Giving up on my search is not part of who I am. In short, changing my image to fit a particular person that seems to me like they love me is part of my mission. I am a devoted, faithful, sweet, romantic, hardworking and cheerful person you would always love to be with. I don’t mind if you cheat on me cause I know most men are prone to that, I don’t even mind if you beat me up, my parents raised me up like that, so I see it as discipline. All I want is your constant love, assurance and not waking up one day to put me behind. I believe I can make a good wife and eventually raise kids for you but all I’m asking is for you to accept my plea and be my man/woman.

CV

The new generation man/woman (2000and..)

78 Netflix and chill avenue, Zombie ZF7 0PQ

016894327555

KEY SKILLS

Managerial Experience

  • Being an office worker since my teenage life has equipped me with basic personal skills that makes me a good manager.
  • Speaking with tons of people on daily basis has improved both my communication skills and my courtesy too.
  • Can deal with pressure from people and settle difficult issues regarding company’s problems or even personal problems of co-workers
  • My social life has improved over the past few years by frequently setting nights out, parties, date nights or  a mere social gathering with companies that partner and do business with where I work
  • My sense of humour is admired by every client and co-worker.

Personal Experience

  • Am too much of myself so I constantly look for a complement.
  • I have a phobia when I think of myself at 50 years of age alone and weary.
  • I love long hugs, watching movies and cuddling with the opposite sex.
  • I can totally fit in with anyone and everyone because I’m  always on the look for someone.
  • Living for self is boring and complicated so I tend to live for people

HISTORY

From mother’s womb-14yrs – Naïve and ignorant

15-20yrs– Series of unserious dates and self exploration

21-25yrs– Serious relationships and getting dumped

26yrs-Present– Desperately searching

EDUCATION

I wouldn’t want to mention this to avoid scaring some people away. I’m open to all and I just want you to know that I’m a smart and successful man/woman.

POSITION OF RESPONSIBILITY

  • Nearly became a baby mama/baby father
  • Relationship adviser
  • Side chick/man
  • Main chick/man
  • Open and casual relationship
  • Friends with benefits

INTERESTS

Love skiing and flying kites, Travelling

REFEREES/REFERENCE

Available when we are in a relationship

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DISCLAIMER:This is not everyone’s way of life and certainly not how everyone approach relationships. I advice you take nothing written above personal cause I’m only putting down my own thoughts and opinion on how many people nowadays tend to give away their beautiful selves in the name of searching for love. This is not to bash people or what they believe in, it’s only my own point of view.

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When you desperately look for love in certain places, this is likely the signal you put off to people to show them that love is all you want. We forget the need to fall first for ourselves, we forget that people would only fall in love with us when they see that person who is in content with themselves. This post is not to put people away from loving someone but to remind us that love is free, love is for everyone and everyone someday would get to see through another with all manner of love and not coercion.

Do share your thoughts on this subject in the reply box below. Thank you

Dyna Ekwueme Copyright, 2015.

Free

We’ve been given the liberty to express ourselves, feeling and things we want to share with the world. We are not slaves to our thoughts neither are we caged or limited to places we want to go.

We sing when we want to, cry when we feel we should, laugh at gestures and jokes, fight for our rights and speak whatsoever our minds push us to. Yet in the world we live in, there are many of us who are restricted to their own freedom, people who can’t see broad day light, people living in shadows. Let’s remember people like that and appreciate our own freedom.

This picture was taken in Glynde, a small town not far from Brighton City, where I met with my course mates and many other people from other cities for barbecue. I got inspiration from looking at my own self, the beauty of freedom and the art of being free. Hope this inspires you too.

I’m guessing you had a feisty day like I did? Would love to know. Thank you.

Dyna Ekwueme Copyright, 2015.

Deja Vu #18

I knew I was once a captive

But I still am

On the verge of my echo

Which hands a ripple effect

Cosy but never rosy at the edge

Clinging to my sense of feeling.

Who can tell how many times it concurred?

With my past and now?

The populace it stole their minds,

Engrossed with pathetic thoughts?

Some had lived twice’ thrice in it

But the rest never quotes the picture it paints.

“I’ve been born twice” they alter

On the same earth we commute

Would you thank me if I said

I were your good and bad mystery?

Replay your memoir, See if I were true

So you’ll write again and remember today.

This poem was written last year, June. It’s rewritten today for reflection. meditate and reflect on what is and what next. Hope you had a graceful Saturday? Share what you’re thinking below. Thank you.

#TheGoodInMe

Dyna Ekwueme Copyright, 2015.