Outgrowing the wild

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I was about cooking Jollof rice when I looked out the kitchen window to see the spectrum of bloom the weather left the sky. It reminded me of evenings in Aba (my home town in Nigeria). It reminded me of the way the weather back home tells us how much it would pour rain down. I felt dark for a minute. Six more weeks to finish university, six more weeks of trying to catch up with the reality of my second home, Brighton.

107, Brighton

I used to hate long conversations with my housemates, I used to pick times where I’d choose to hang out with them. I used to lock up in my attic room and disturb them with my late loud music and my loud laugh with uni friends but now we talk, laugh and live like it’s a ritual. We get curious with when next we get to hang out or just play random games. You can tell from our eyes that farewell day will be more like doomsday.

Journal

A lot has changed in the past three years. Things have become a little clearer, my journeying, the reality of what I need to achieve in life, most importantly what I have to give and offer. They’ve become more pragmatic than illusive. At this point in my life, I’ve learned that I’m allowed to grow especially with others who are willing to grow with me. I’ve learned courage can come from the least of things and people. I learnt that growth doesn’t need to be big to be successful. I’m also aware that I’m allowed mistakes in every step of it, I’m allowed to fall and fail because I’m human.

Pen

Writing has humbled me in ways that I can’t explain, it has changed my sense of purpose. It has redirected me to people and places that bring peace and mindfulness and it still is. The process has been bliss and I believe strongly that it’s fully been God. I’ve  had the opportunity to believe in the strength I carry with words, to pray sometimes with my pen because my mouth can be heavy to say the right words to God. If only I can write in other languages, the world will pray too.

There are many ways I’ve stripped off colours of habits that I don’t identify with, ones that won’t serve me. Many ways I’d love to do more for living and not trying so hard to live right. It’s a gradual process. It’s an investment on and for self. It’s my culture, my way of outgrowing the wild.

Dyna Ekwueme Copyright, 2017.

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Resonance

I leave you these.

Share your favourite thought-provoking and mind/soul healing quotes in the comment section. You can also leave links to good reads, I’d really appreciate it. Thank you.

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Dyna Ekwueme Copyright, 2016.

Blogging series 6: Never have I ever

by Dyna Ekwueme

Image result for running away

Picture gotten from-Runningaway

WRITTEN FOR THE THINGS AND PEOPLE I LUSTED FOR

Being vulnerable about my fantasies and sexual cravings for certain kinds of profane words and touch that emits all kinds of vibrations in my writing. Never have I ever been found writing about my wants for  someone else, someone who doesn’t want me, someone who probably thinks I don’t exist. The hypnosis of my feelings, like a spree cursed by a god.

WRITTEN FOR THE THINGS I GAINED FROM PAIN 

The writer’s block I get every now and then, fleeing from my blog like I’m all about that busy life. I wouldn’t write about the long piles of unpublished posts in my draft which has me thinking “I’m not good enough for me”. The resits people don’t see but praise me for as a university girl. The pain and struggle behind it all tends to be hidden in what appears to be like “she’s doing okay” to you.

WRITTEN FOR THE PEOPLE WHO NEED THIS WRITING

With self-obsessive writing blinding me, I fail to write for those who need their voices projected, for those who look up to words to heal them, for those who are not educated and need their tears sent to the government, parliament, leaders, charity organizations and philanthropic bodies through my writing. Never have I ever written enough for change, for love for others, for unity, for development and for substance of evolution.

Part 2 contributed by Emediong Etetim

WRITTEN FOR THE LIFE I WISH I HAD
Everyone feels they understand the level of pain or frustration I’m in. To them, only my feet is touching the water. To me, only my head is above the water. Never have my words been understood but rather misconstrued. Now to live a life where it is okay to not have to explain myself at every turn is all I crave to have.

Disclaimer: This piece was originally written by me and part contributed by Emediong Etetim. No one else had contributed to this piece. 

Dyna Ekwueme Copyright, 2016.

 

 

Blogging series 6: Public appraisal

by Emediong Etetim

In the world where your life is being judged by your online content, where you do not have an interesting day if it isn’t posted on snapchat or your style sense isn’t on par if you do not have a crisp photo on Instagram showing off your latest designer purchase. It is not very surprising that self validation is also being set by twitter’s standards.

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Picture gotten from-Pixabay

In the world where trends are to be followed in order to stay relevant, where everyone’s mind is now programmed to think alike, to act alike, if you do not know the latest music releases, the latest celebrity couples and their cats, the most recent dance moves, or you’re not sporting the pointiest eyeliner, then “girl you tripping”. And you’d sit and wonder whatever happened to ‘uniqueness’.

The words ‘different’, ‘special’, ‘unique’ are all slowly getting lost in our dictionary. Everyone doing all they can to stay relevant even if it means morphing into carbon copies of already existing duplicates. Everyone trying to standout as a clone that they are forgetting that a photocopy will always remain just a mediocre of the original.

We’re all walking, talking faceless ‘ordinaries’ allowing ‘relevance’ to draw patterns unto us as they deem fit, still lacking distinction regardless.

To those who have managed to stay true, and self aware…

Part 2 contributed by Dyna Ekwueme

To those who don’t fall for mediocrity and cliché of existing contents and lifestyle. To those who don’t fit in the stereotypes displayed by the society and pressure exerted by peers and the  outside world that can’t see through their walls. This is not for you.

I want to speak my mind. I want to be free like that little child, be open to learning new things and absorbing the differences in us that shapes our inner minds. I want to be feared by my fears, put what matters first and not what appears to be important. I want to love not for the fashion or looks or the utterances made by jealous minds. I want to care less about the public, be humbled by little beginnings and fight for those who can’t find strength within them, yet I still crave to act otherwise because it’s what the public wants. That is the better way I believe the public can better appraise me. What a mess!

Do you write for your sake or that of the others?

Can you atone for the times you failed to recognize what could have been better? Is it ego or is it just us who are slowly dying from what the world has thrown at us? How much more are you willing to let out before you tell the real story behind how far you’ve come? where do you recognize as home? Here or there?

Disclaimer: This post was originally written and inspired by Emediong Etetim and part contributed by me. There was no third party to this collaboration.

Find out more about Emediong ( For lifestyle, fashion and real  life collaborations) on

Stylepith.com

IG- @em.etetim

Dyna Ekwueme Copyright, 2016.

Blogging series 5: The spirit behind “I am”

by Marvel Augustine

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Picture gotten from- siouxlander

In life you go through a conditioning process, it creates a mindset (habitual) overflowing with ‘I AM NOTs’. I’ll throw in more light here, take for example; as a young girl of nubile age but you seem to have a broken relationship always, you find yourself with the wrong men and so on. You feel really bad and believe that you are not good enough, you look into the mirror and compare yourself to a glamorous movie idol or homecoming queen and say to yourself, I am not attractive.

Your relationship fractures, and you then begin to think you’re unloved or unworthy. Better still as a schoolchild with a less satisfactory scores (grades) on your report card, you say to yourself, “I am not smart”. These and many more are continuous occurrences you develop all through the years and into adulthood, which begins to define the way you see yourself.

Overcoming this “I am not” mindset  or mentality begins with trusting your inner spirit. There are no boundaries restricting your inner spirit, but your worldview and conceptions to the outer world are defined by this, using your five senses. The outer world is always changing, which, by our definition, means it is not real. This awareness that remains unchanging is the only reality that could lead you to experiencing a majestic wake-up
call.

Run through as many inventories as you can of the things that you would like to define your life with, then make the shift of your imaginations from “I AM NOT” to “I AM”. If you want what follows “I AM” to be harmonious, you should become conscious of what affects your inner spirit. Change the words that define the concept of yourself. Reword your inner mindset first, then seek to gain access to the real you and all that you  desire.

The words “I AM” which you consistently use should define who you truly are and what you are capable of. It should be represented as meek as that of the holy expression for the name of God. Always make your very first consideration the honor of your divine spirit. This will allow you rise to previously unimagined heights.Spiritual acknowledgement is a trigger to the power of “I AM”. Teach your outer self to acknowledge the Supernatural power of your inner spirit.

“I AM”, two of the most powerful words ever, whatever you put after them defines your reality. Stay positive!

Disclaimer: This piece was originally written by Marvel Augustine and this is one of the media he chose to share his inspirational piece. No parts were added by me or anyone. 

Dyna Ekwueme Copyright, 2016.

Blogging series 4: Forest of Promise

by Aiidee Sinclair

I was on my way to Bonny Island to see a relative. We had boarded a ship and sailed off. After about 35 mins we heard fired gunshots. 

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Picture gotten from-Thailand

“what is the problem?” I asked one of the cabin crew.” our ship is under attack by a group of gangsters ” a man I could I tell from his voice was in great panic answered.

“what?!” I screamed on top of my voice with my heart throbbing aloud.

“Please Mr. help me! they are after me” said the most beautiful and gorgeous girl I have ever seen, crying by the end of the ship just close to the entrance of the main door.

I wasn’t in my right thinking as I forgot for a moment that we were in a great deal of danger. Her natural beauty got me. I finally decided to help, as what else was there to do when we were under attack by the unknown. As I pulled her up from the ground, she seemed frightened and had given me a distrustful look.

“What is happening? what offence did you commit? was it you who had caused this attack?” I asked furiously not minding if she had answers to it or not. It felt like such a nightmare. ” I was about to be smuggled into a world that doesn’t exist, I had escaped before my abductors knew what was next”  she replied with a hasty look. 

“boss! there she is” A man with a huge jaw beard appeared from behind her. She turned,  pointing at the three hefty men with large figures and a mean lookwalking towards us with the man I had seen at first, screaming 

“please Mr. help me! those men are after me”, I quickly grabbed her by her hand  and began running towards the front of the ship not knowing where this will eventually lead us.

“There is no other option than for us to jump as many of the crew had done” I said softly to her when we got to the front top of the ship. She didn’t hesitate but jumped off the ship. I followed swiftly. We swam for what seemed like an eternity until I passed out….

we found ourselves at the shore of the sea surrounded by thick green forests….

To be continued…

Disclaimer: This piece was originally written by Aiidee Sinclair and this is one of the media he chose to share his fictional prose. No parts were added by me or anyone. 

Dyna Ekwueme Copyright, 2016.

 

Blogging series 3: The fortress of our romance

by Vic-Sandra

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                                        Picture gotten from-Rominblack

Words unspoken
Eyes unrelated
The quiet of the distance
The distance between the space
Her tongue rising only to fall
Her lips parting only to sigh
And her voice heard, only to falter
And only the heart in his voice could lift her gaze

And this is the fortress of our romance;
Backs aback,
Rears at rage,
Thumping thresholds,
Even the boundaries bicker
The carcasses of our empty pain linked umbilically
And the laughs of our yesterday stand appalled
Is this the fortress of our romance?

Tight eyes open only with hope of a promise
The promise to be held beyond our grief
And the faith in his safe hands,
Ones that nudged my entirety to life
And cradled my fears to sleep
For the edge we sought had found us
And only our instinctive breath had pulled us beyond our volatile volition
In hindsight, this really was our fortress
For only here did we fight, to love
And cry to smile
And part to be held.

Part 1: contributed by Dyna Ekwueme

In soft touch we rekindled,

doses of unfelt passion.

The place we had it all

bearing  it with trade marks of our untold kisses

The memoirs of our romance

The letters written in penance.

Oh darling! how strong can you feel this love

the plight of our soft edges.

Let me save you this beating heart

a thousand times and more

to feel this thing we bore,

Love, Ore.

Disclaimer:This piece was originally written by Vic-Sandra and part contributed by me. No parts were added by any other.

Dyna Ekwueme Copyright, 2016.

 

Necessities of a less active blogger

As there are more people who blog part-time and during their leisure than those who blog as a full time job, there are essentials that can help you post whenever you’re ready, if you’re one of the former. Not necessarily blogging after 6 months or a year but frequently as it keeps you engaged with your beautiful thoughts and your audience whilst away from your website.

Picture gotten from-Teaandblog

Here are three key necessities I’ve picked out and collectively, I use them to stay active outside my blog.

  • Writing material/ Implement– This is anything ranging from a pen and paper , to sketch pads, phones/gadgets or even jotters that you can conveniently carry around with you, just in case inspiration strikes anywhere. I conveniently use Notes on my phone to write down and describe briefly what it is that comes to my head. This can also come in handy when writing a totally different piece as you can refer to your material/ implement.
  • Camera– As the world keeps developing, more people are becoming visual learners as they can read more meaning and put words together just by looking at pictures. You may not consider this a necessity but you should know that images go a long way to help you remember scenarios. It captures the moment, telling you “what” and “where” and sometimes even  “when”. This can then help you recollect memories and add new ideas to what you intend on posting. Cameras can come in form of mobile phones (which of course should have an in-built camera) or an actual camera which you can get online or in stores at affordable prices.
  • Reminder-Let’s all call this the “motivational piece”. Procrastination is one sting that we all have and refuse to get an antidote for, so, having a reminder can push us to post our short-saved thoughts and ideas. You can either set an alarm/(s), tick a date on your calendar, tell a friend to remind you, jot it down somewhere or save your notes on your drafts to help tell you when to publish. There is no universal reminder I can recommend than to do/use what works best for you.

I believe these essentials are necessary for someone who blogs less but thinks more. If there are anymore that you can think of,  I’d like you to air your opinion in the comment box below. Thank you.

Dyna Ekwueme Copyright, 2016.

 

My Body Remembers: a post on Domestic Violence

For some who see confrontation as another war, pain is their safe haven.

Picture gotten from-JenniferLeigh

Giving people another chance can be your deepest weakness especially when you’ve tied love, fear and being alone as your reason. Sometimes our culture, religion, society and believes hold us down, people too. Often, confiding in someone becomes what is best fitted and not what the worst case scenario may be, as you only give in bits and pieces of what seem to be an endless fight for you. Loneliness could sometimes be your resort as you don’t want these other people judging and cursing you for remaining.

Woman, Man, this is for you. You, who go through hell in those walls I don’t see. You, who choose to love even when it’s been stripped off of its pure nature and presented bitter. You, who blame yourself for another’s mess  and go into depression and anxiety for feeling less understood and undervalued. I write for the man/woman seeking a god for change each time another chance is given to your oppressor. The man/woman held by ethics to embrace brutality and self-harm of many kinds.

Look at those defining scars. Listen to your own resistance, how it bleeds. Measure up how much you’ve endured, the time you wished ticked faster and the throbbing of your heart each time you attempt to hold back. You are bold to have endured. You are strong to have stayed. Your tear bags are however running out.

Resonate. It’s not too late if you’re reading this. Here’s a sign that there is hope.

The therapy you need starts with you walking away love. I encourage you, the world that doesn’t support this does too. You are valued and you are loved, not by the people that cause you pain neither is it by the toxic river you’re drowning in, but by a better world waiting for you out here.

Dear Man,

Dear Woman,

No matter how rigid you may be, how discreet you may hide the scars, your body will always remember. It will tell.

#SayNoToDomesticViolence

Dyna Ekwueme Copyright, 2016.

 

Evidence: In My Own Skin

I don’t know what’s hidden behind your own pigment. As an individual, I can’t speak for your own representation, the way you want the world to see you, the way you choose to feel.

Picture gotten from-BlackandWhite

I use “I”.

I use it because as a person, you are allowed what you are, your opinions, thoughts, perception. Freedom. You.

What about “us”?

Collectively we’ve made generations, we’ve brought about various changes, we’ve stood against fear, we’ve beared war strokes, we’ve failed and conquered, we’ve told these stories over and over yet we’ve only been able to achieve these by mere differences in skin colour.

You still believe in different races?

How many parents have inculcated values, norms and discipline without speaking of other skin colours? How many of us have been promised a position or title without having a black, white or mixed skin option stall us? How many are guilty of the type of skin colour they allow in their space? How many still don’t believe in one race, the human race?

“I’m white, you’re not, I’m black, you’re not”

How long are we willing to go on for?

As a black woman, I believe in my roots and culture. I believe in the wars of my heroes’ past. I believe that those wars were won for my freedom today. I believe I’m seldom jugded by the profounding effect of my melanocytes, distrusted often and doubted when I’m most willing. I believe I have to be sorry even when I’m not, questioned for my rights in another man’s country. I believe I have to go hard if ever I want to rise above standards. I believe I’m unique, so are you, no matter what your skin colour is.

In this age, more people are being educated on oneness, more are taught on accepting every other distinct colour from theirs yet, in this age the skin colour black still bleeds. It is still perceived as unaccepted in most parts of the world, demeaning individuals who bear them.

How more can I be Human?

Dyna Ekwueme Copyright, 2016.